Last night’s Fiesta Bowl was a great way to start the week of BCS football games. Boise State came up with some late game trickory again and were able to hold off TCU. Everyone is really waiting for the BCS Championship game this Thursday, pitting Alabama vs. Texas. Many aspects of this game will be dissected by football analysts and mentally challenged sports personalities over the next two days, but the most important battle is being covered by the Bleacher Report: The Cheerleader Showdown. I’m taking Texas, both their cheerleaders and the team. Hook’em Horns!
Nice catch to protect yourself from the exercise ball, unfortunately, that was all part of the plan. This room looks like the perfect set-up for good times, and ninja kicks of course.
I had to endure a lot of marching band performances last weekend while trying to enjoy bowl games and this girls face reflects how I felt through every single one of them. Of course I was on my couch watching a buzz kill band while this girl is actually in the fucking band.
Has anyone ever been less excited to be at a BCS bowl game?
Sure hitting a patch of ice and sitting there with your thumb up your ass while your car slides uncontrollably about sucks but it’s no reason to bail out of the fucking car. Alright, if you’re sliding towards something like a cliff with a 100 foot drop I can see bailing but not when you’re just sliding down a side street. Did this lady think that if she just got out of the car it would magically stop?
Goddamn the Japanese pull the best pranks around. If you tried this kind of shit in the good old U-S-of-A your ass would be sued faster than one of these bastards can climb out of the hot water pit.
Step 1: Make a hole.
Step 2: Fill the hole with hot water.
Step 3: Cover the hole with foam.
Step 4: Prepare to laugh your ass off.
Weird, in 2010 Mondays still suck. I thought for sure this was the year that mix things up and make Mondays awesome. Oh well, at least Ralph Magazine was nice enough to put Sophie Howard in a bikini for our viewing pleasure.
If you’re tired of your 9 to 5 and you’re looking to ring in 2010 with something different that will get you out of that godforsaken cube farm then Kink.com might have the job for you. They are looking for a Temporary Stage Custodian to work on their production set in San Fransisco.
ESSENTIAL JOB FUNCTIONS:
• Provides general assistance to Stage Manager and EPA’s
• Responsible for cleaning sets and communal shooting areas (sweeping, mopping, dusting, disinfecting)
• Responsible for cleaning dirty props from shoots (dildos, and bondage wall items)
• May need to help clean up from shoots (cleaning and putting large and small props away)
• Return large props to prop area
• Help maintain the organization of the soft props room
• Help maintain the organization of the PA storage room
• Cover for the stage manager when needed
Sure you can’t actually tell Mom and Dad what your new gig is but I bet you’ll get to see a lot of weird shit and you never know, it could turn into a permanent position.
Marguerite Engle took a late run at the U.S. Intoxication record hoping to best the woman from Oregon that set the bar at .720 back in 2008. Marguerite didn’t quite get there but she did manage to break the .7s by ringing in a solid .708 BAC or about 9 times the legal limit for South Dakota.
Her .708 isn’t a fluke by some South Dakota trooper that doesn’t know how to read a breathalyzer. The .708 was measured by a chemist using a blood sample taken from Marguerite after cops found her passed out behind the wheel of a stolen truck.
I’ve been pretty fucking drunk but I don’t know how you get up to .708. This lady must have been drinking Everclear on the rocks or some equally disgusting shit that will make you go blind just a soon as it gets you drunk.
I hope everyone has something planned for this evening to celebrate the New Year. Personally, I think New Year’s Eve is overrated, so if you’re staying in to watch people ring in 2010 on TV, that’s cool, just be sure to have fun and be safe. That’s what Candice Swanepoel would want you to do too.
The decade is wrapping up but it wouldn’t be complete without a mugshot round up from the guys over at The Smoking Gun. They’ve put together two different top 20 lists featuring the best mugshots of the 00’s one showcasing celebrities and the other featuring average knuckleheads. Don’t worry, these two chuckleheads aren’t the winners I just wanted to give you a taste of what you’re in store for once you click over to the full gallery.
I said “easier” not dead simple. Before you place an order for one of these LED milk glasses you’re going to need to start keeping a glass of milk on your desk all day every day. Sure it’ll be weird at first but eventually people will just get used to your Napoleon-Dynamite-esque love of milk. Once that bit of weirdness has been cultivated you bring in your LED milk glass and start filling it up with gin. The white LEDs will give the impression this glass is still full of milk and not Tanqueray and tonic. It should be smooth sailing from this point. The LEDs will hide what’s in the glass but they can’t explain to your boss why your garbage can is full of tonic bottles and you’ve cut lime wedges all over your desk.
The gadget nerd in me wants the Nexus One but the other part of me loves the keyboard on my G1 like the proverbial fat kid who loves cake.
about 13 hours ago
from Brizzly
Just ruined Tuesday morning for six dudes. I'm not the one that read the blueprints wrong so I only feel about 85% bad about it.
about 16 hours ago
from Brizzly
The fourth rule of Designated Driver Club is no matter how bad your head hurts never admit you've got a hangover.
01:05:10 PM January 03, 2010
from Wind-Up
I hope everyone has something planned for this evening to celebrate the New Year. Personally, I think New Year’s Eve is overrated, so if you’re staying in to watch people ring in 2010 on TV, that’s cool, just be sure to have fun and be safe. That’s what 
