I found this article the other day while checking out college humor. Check out some of my favorite Different Types of Farts:
The Fat Girl Fart: Usually accidental and embarrassing, the FGF is nonetheless incredibly foul and hilarious. One of the few phenomena in the world that can actually make a fat girl less attractive.
Sounds Like: Thrrrrribap! Bap!
Typically Heard During: Roughhousing/Physical Exertion. Tickle fights, Indian leg wrestling, energetic sex… Why are you looking at me like that? Dude, I just heard that somewhere, seriously. Oh fu*k you, man…
The Revenge Fart: Generally known only in male circles, the RF is a fantastic way to fulfill your oath of vengeance for various sleights against you. Be warned, however: what goes around comes around, and the RF may be cruelly discussed in front of prospective mates.
Sounds Like: Pssssst.
Typically Heard During: Long car rides in cold weather. Once released, the RF becomes a viscous-yet-oddly free-floating ethereal substance that attaches itself to the inner nostril and will not relinquish control over the atmosphere of the car.
The Super-Hot Girl Fart: Thought to be mythical by male flatulence scholars, the SHGF is the Yeti of all farts. Many have heard stories, but none have given proof.
Sounds Like: Unknown. Possibly wind-chimes and blue jays.
Typically Heard During: The instant before you die, when all mysteries become known.
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Or you could do the elevator fart, which my dad perfected on a Thanksgiving weekend trip to the casino. While the doors were opening to a sweet family of 8, Reed let rip one of the rankest farts I have ever heard, smelled or felt. Needless to say I exited the elevator eyes watering and in hysterical laughter. The family of 8 only had the eyes watering emotion.