I don’t know what it is like around the rest of the country but about 95% of drivers here in the greater Seattle area need to go back to driving school and learn how to merge into traffic. I swear to Christ that as soon as these idiots turn on their blinker they loose all common sense. There are a few different offenders in the merging game.
Slow Merger
These pricks somehow think it is safe to merge onto a road with a 60+ MPH speed limit at 30 – 40 MPH. How is that safe? I can’t even comprehend how your brain would think that pulling in front of someone going 30 MPH slower then they are is a good idea. What really makes me mad about this is that I get stuck behind one of these idiots almost everyday. So instead of their poorly functioning brain only putting their own life in danger they are now putting my life in danger and that is when I get irate.
The Force Merge
We have all dealt with these a-holes. They drive to the very end of their soon to be non-existent lane and then just start coming over most of the time without even activating their blinker. What!? You are trying to enter my lane, my space. Just because your lane is ending you don’t have the right to just come over and invade my space. If you had used your brain 50 ft ago you could have merged into my lane like all of the other people with common sense. These are the same pricks that try to board the airplane with seating group 1 despite the fact that seating group 6 is printed in bold on their boarding pass.
The 90 Degree Merge
Oh you douches are some of my favorites. These jackholes generally appear in a stop and go traffic situation usually known as rush hour. Normal people roll along side the crawling traffic at 3 – 4 MPH with their blinker on and then find a nice gap to smoothly merge into. These douches come to a dead stop in the merge lane and then crank their wheel 90 degrees and force a small corner of their bumper into the gap between two stopped cars. Now the entire on-ramp / merge lane is blocked while these guys complete the equivalent of a 10 point turn trying to straighten their car out
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You forgot about me! I’m the Jerk-Store that’s 3 cars back on the merging lane that cuts in early (over the lines) and then won’t let the other 3 cars that were in front of me merge into the traffic lane. This forces them to slow down and merge behind me thus making them the Slow Merger that puts your life in danger. So suck it!!!!
My personal least favorite is the non-merge. This is the slut that I nearly rear-ended one morning in Spokane. We were coming down the on ramp at 5:45am (I give you this information so you can picture how little traffic is on the road) and a semi is coming on strong in the right hand lane. Instead of speeding up or slowing down, she comes to an immediate halt and I nearly rear-end her as I’m looking in my side view for my opening. Stopping at the end of an on ramp in a 70 mph zone is unacceptable! Then I nearly get rear-ended by someone as dumbstruck as me to see a car stopped at the end of an on ramp. IDIOTS!!!
so true, so true. Reminds me of the left lane merge. You have to have some real balls to pull off this maneuver with cars whizzing by at 80+ mph. Especially because all those a-holes in the left lane think they are king of the road and don’t even realize people could potentially be entering the highway on their side. It is damn near impossible to pull the speed up move in this scenario, but you have to be going at least 70 to even attempt a merge at all. They should put a warning sign in front of the entrance that says “if you don’t have the sack to pull a left lane merge turn around and get back in bed”
Growing up in Portland and visiting Seattle many times I thought I knew what bad driving was.
I did not.
I am convinced that the motherland of motor vehicle incompetence is Memphis, TN where I now reside.
I sympathize with you about drivers that lose all sense once they turn on their blinker, but down here they are still mastering the concept of the blinker. The general consensus is that the little stick on the left side of the steering wheel is for hanging extra air fresheners when you don’t get a chance to shower.
Well, Mitch, the same problem exists where I live. Seems to me, merging just isn’t that difficult! But then, you’ve got the people like Jerk Store that cause the stupid people to be even stupider!
Your rant hit the nail on the head! Thanks.