I love me some funny ass ninjas.

One of our loyal readers sent in this photo this morning with the following explanation.

It appears that one of our own has been moonlighting as a spinning instructor at Golds Gym. He is apparently going by the name Tracy Lord. This photo was snapped from the instructor profile wall. Anything you want to tell us?

Click the thumbnail for the extreme close-up version.

I really hate it when somebody puts together a kick ass argument and then just cops out at the end. This cat put together a great PowerPoint presentation with a point by point analysis of who would win the battle between a pirate and a ninja. The presentation is 39 slides long and covers every aspect of the debate. Then instead of strapping a pair of balls on and choosing a winner he throws a curveball in and just declares “Robots Win!”

It’s like watching one of those shows on the History Channel where they declare they are going to find some lost city. They spend a week showing kick ass commercials that always sucker me in about how they are going to find a lost city. Then I invest an hour of my life into the show and at the end they point at a pile of rocks and say, “Is this the lost city? We will never know for sure but you should decide for yourself.”

No I should not decide for myself. I spent an hour watching your bullshit show so you could tell me if said pile of rocks was the lost city or not. Sure I bitch but the bastards drag me in each and every time.

Despite the bullshit ending it is still a pretty good presentation. Check it out.

Pirates vs. Ninjas - The Great Debate of Our Time

If you are anything like me you are trying to figure out how you can learn the ending of the new Harry Potter book without reading 793 pages and piss off thousands of kids all at the same time. Well a group called the Harry Potter Public Enlightenment Project has come up with a snazzy t-shirt that solves both of the above stated problems.

For about $20 you can buy this t-shirt which very succinctly describes the end of the new Harry Potter book and what happens to all the major characters.

The picture to the right is small on purpose. We are still trying to gain readers here at TastyBooze not alienate them by the thousands. Click the link to cast the revealo t-shirto spell a see a legible picture of the shirt. It does reveal the ending.

Harry Potter Public Enlightenment Project

I am a firm believer in the whole “innocent until proven guilty” thing that we have going here in the U.S. In this day and age of 24 hour media coverage and FOX News I feel like most people forget about this part of our judicial system.

That being said I think that Michael Vick just went from “deep shit” to “seriously deep you can’t see daylight shit”. One of Vick’s co-defendents, Tony Taylor, pleaded guilty today to federal dogfighting conspiracy charges and agreed to cooperate with the government. Here is the bitch of it. Mr. Taylor didn’t even sign an official plea deal with the government. Sure he will probably receive a reduced sentence but he has no guarantee on paper. According to the MSNBC.com article the judge was quoted as saying “You’re pleading guilty and taking your chances, right?” To which Taylor responded, “Yes.” Frankly I applaud the guy. Overall he is a prick that tortured animals but it is rare occurrence in our current society for someone to admit their wrong doing and accept the consequences.

I have no doubt that Vick hired one of the slickest talking law dogs he could find. I bet we will hear the classic he was young and handed millions of dollars, old friends, bad influences argument. As I said innocent until proven guilty. But when one of the four charged just rolls over and fesses up it doesn’t look good for the rest of the crew.

Original Article: MSNBC.com

I am not an expert on super yachts but I am going to go ahead and guess that this is not how your maiden voyage is supposed to end. The captain obviously had a little speed going to get up on top of the wall like that.

PBO reader Chris Boulter witnessed this alarming piece of coming alongside in Varazze on the Italian Riviera. He wrote:

‘It had only left the dock 30 seconds earlier - one of the crew jumped off the foredeck into the harbour as it hit the harbour wall. It appears that no one was physically hurt (amazing with all sorts of people around on a sunny Saturday) only the skipper’s pride and I imagine his paycheck!’

Original Post: Practical Boat Owner

This guy is a winner! Another gem from Kizza.

Delta is trying to focus its marketing efforts

Delta Airlines Spoof - “Y’all Be Goin’ On Vacation?” - More free videos are here

This is the first article that made me laugh out loud in a long time. This poor little bastard is so smart he can calculate when he is going to catch his next beating from the jealous kids that get D’s on their math tests.

The kids getting D’s are going to find it quite as funny when little Alex ends up being the guy that is signing their paychecks.

Alex Mosley employed complex reasoning and social ratios to determine that he will almost certainly suffer a beating before month’s end.

To put his findings in layman’s terms, Mosley’s pretentiousness and poor conversational skills make him decidedly annoying. Pair that with his propensity to raise his hand for most teacher-posed questions and his past run-ins with more aggressive and popular peers, and one would have to believe Mosley will get his beating sometime soon.

Original Article: TheGiantNapkin

A long time ago before Borat Sacha Baron Cohen had a character he did called Ali G. Some of you might remember Ali G; he had his own show on HBO for while. The clip below is from the 2004 Harvard Commencement Ceremony where Ali G was asked to speak to the new graduates. It is a long video at almost 10 minutes but it is hilarious.

The picture is a little small so here is the text from the bottom of the ad.

away from it all…time to relax means a lot, especially when you’re with your best friends. Yes, this calls for a Budweiser.

Maybe my head is in the wrong place on a Friday morning but does this ad seem weird to anyone else? You’ve got three guys sitting around a fire with Budweiser tall boys in what appears to be a cabin all staring at a dog with shit eating grins on their faces. What are they planning on doing to that dog during this relaxation time?