This is the first article that made me laugh out loud in a long time. This poor little bastard is so smart he can calculate when he is going to catch his next beating from the jealous kids that get D’s on their math tests.
The kids getting D’s are going to find it quite as funny when little Alex ends up being the guy that is signing their paychecks.
Alex Mosley employed complex reasoning and social ratios to determine that he will almost certainly suffer a beating before month’s end.
“First, I computed my annoyance ratio to determine the probability that each student would want to beat me up,” said Mosley. “Then I gauged that against the Beatings to Hand Raises Theory along with past historical data from my previous physical assaults.”
To put his findings in layman’s terms, Mosley’s pretentiousness and poor conversational skills make him decidedly annoying. Pair that with his propensity to raise his hand for most teacher-posed questions and his past run-ins with more aggressive and popular peers, and one would have to believe Mosley will get his beating sometime soon.
Original Article: TheGiantNapkin
