Our buddy south of the border, Paco Gerte, sent me a link to this slideshow that covers 10 drinks men should never order. These 10 pearls of wisdom came from Dave Jacobson a.k.a. Captain Obvious the manager at Restaurant Miami (located in Minneapolis).
1. Anything blended, unless on the beach.
2. Jello shots or any variety of neon shots with about as much alcohol as a juice box.
3. Anything with an obscene amount of garnish.
4. Cosmopolitans are fruity, bright and downright girly.
5. Anything that requires a straw. It’s hard to look coy with a straw, it’s nearly impossible to look macho or hot when using one.
6. Any shot or drink that boasts whipped cream as an ingredient or garnish.
7. Anything that ends in “tini” but isn’t an honest martini made with gin or vodka and vermouth.
8. Malt beverages that don’t come in a 40 ounce bottle. Especially the fruity flavored malt beverages a.k.a. “alcopops”.
9. Any kind of alcohol, besides scotch, ordered “neat”. It could suggest you are frequent drinker.
10. White Zinfandel — this one needs no explanation.
I would argue that most guys now these guidelines before they ever turn 21. However as long as we are writing out lists of common sense items maybe Dave could write a list of things I shouldn’t do with my dick. 1. Zip it into your fly. 2. Slam it into a door 3. Put it into strange dark places unprotected. etc.
