A Little Saturday Chad Kultgen Review

Is That Even Legal?

Last night I got home from work and knew I had to go to the store to get some more Bud Ices because I drained my supply this past weekend. I also needed asswipe, toothpaste and shampoo. I’ve been washing my hair with body wash, wiping my ass with paper towels and brushing my teeth with a dry brush for the past 5 days or so because I hate going to the grocery store, but when the Bud Ice runs dry, it forces me to get tot he store a.s.a.p. So I figured I get the rest of the crap while I was there.

So I walk into my apartment building, take the elevator up to the third floor and start walking toward my apartment. Before I get there, I see my roommate, Carl, out in the hall at the door across the hall from ours. He’s holding a frickin’ LAT-17 Snap Gun Lock Picks and it looks like he’s using it on the frickin’ neighbors’ door. WTF?

I was like, “Hey, man, what in the hell are you doing?”
He was like, “Just picking the old neighbors’ lock, dude.”
I was like, “Why?”
He was like, “One of their kids stole my MMA training dummy.”
I was like, “How in the hell do you know that?”
He was like, “Just a hunch.”
I was like, “What if they’re in there?”
He was like, “I’ve done the recon. They just left. Going for dinner at Carnie’s.”
I was like, “The recon? What in the hell are you talking about?”
He was like, “I watched them through the peephole in our door and then listed with a glass to the door. That actually works, dude, by the way.”
I was like, “Well I’m not going to be an accomplice to this, I’m going to the store.”
He was like, “You’re already an accomplice, dude.”

I just turned around, walked back to my car without even taking off my work clothes and went to the store. As I was walking down the hall, I heard a click sound and turned around to see Carl walking into the Jansen’s apartment. Jesus frickin’ Christ.