Heading into Week 4 of the season we have some spicy issues to feast upon; the first being the raucous puss-fest being hosted by some of the leagues top running backs. A majority of the early fantasy picks continue to disappoint and leave us to wonder why we didn’t draft Marion Barber in the top 3. Taken number 1 in nearly 100% of all fantasy drafts, Ladainian Tomlinson (and the Chargers) continues to spiral away from his expectations. Pre-ranked at Number 2, Steven Jackson had his first 100 yard game on Sunday… just before he tore his junk muscle. He’ll likely be out for at least two weeks. Which brings us to Number 3, Larry Johnson. The name just pisses me off. Not only is he averaging fewer than 50 rush yards a game with ZERO touchdowns, the former NFL touches leader was auto drafted for me while I sat in a craphole coffee shop waiting for my POS computer to load java. I wanted Joseph Addai, who crept up to number 4 in the preseason rankings after my draft was complete. Addai is gold and I am trying to trade for his nuggets.
Do not give up on LT. If you were to dump him he would be picked up immediately and your friends would verbally bitch slap you for making such a stupid move. He is not performing horribly, and if he were any other running back you’d be saying ‘did you know he throws touchdowns too?’
Steven Jackson has given you an excuse to dump him. Ok, I’d probably pick him up if I saw him on the waiver wire, but I wouldn’t judge the person that dropped him. He is dead weight and it is unknown when he’ll come back. Move him to your bench and pick up Brian Leonard (Stevens’ back up) if possible. St. Louis’ o-line is falling apart, but you’ll look like a genius if Leonard does well. If not, just say ‘what the hell was I supposed to do?’ and trade for Larry Johnson.
Larry Johnson should be taken out back and shot. I have already traded him away for my niece’s best friend and a box of Altoids. I can wait no longer for him to turn his season around.
Other top running backs that irritate me:
Shaun Alexander has somehow managed to eke out 275 yards, mostly in the second half. He also has 2 touchdowns, yet I still want to defecate on him every time he touches the football. He is consistent and playing with a cracked (broken) hand, I’ll give him that. I’ll also give him a golden shower the next time he flops to the ground like it’s two-hand touch on the school yard.
Reggie Bush was not ranked as high as these others, but he is still a marquee player. Bush will be carrying the load of the rush after Deuce McAllister suffered a season ending torn ACL. Very few analysts think he will be able to succeed in this role. Bush is too flashy and lacking the gut busting factor held by the more powerful backs. I would actually abandon most Saints at this point. Bench them all (they’re on a bye week so that should make it easier).
Frank Gore because he is a bad-bad man and certifiably better than Shaun Alexander.
Joseph Addai because I can’t fool the owner that has him to give him to me.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
First of all, Jackson is done…Done! I agree, bench that ass. Most important is the underrated Lions running game which will sort itself out soon, and the rampage (Jackson) will be on. Alexander is the most hated runner. He just falls down, but somehow produces. I love to hate him, but don’t trade him.
Fuck Alex Smith
I have never gotten into this whole fantasy sports fad but I do have something to say about Alexander.
I don’t get why he is so great. He spends the first 2/3’s of the game bumping into lineman and falling down and no one seems to notice.
Then late in the game he starts breaking off 8 yard runs against a worn down defense and the announcers start sucking his dick and using MVP every third word.
All a good running back has to do is stay in the game until the other team gets tired. I smell another MVP already
Oh my God where is the Celebrity Gossip!!!!!
That’s it, I’m convinced. Who wants Tomlinson? I’ll give him up cheap…..
Sike!