So I guess a front end loader is good for smashing the shit out of a bank but not so good for extracting cash out of an ATM machine.
At around 11:45 Sunday night, someone drove a front end loader through two automated teller machines to either take them or break into them. When fully stocked with $20 bills, ATMs can hold about $80,000.
“They got an A for effort and an F for form. They actually crushed the ATMs where they didn’t have access to it,” said Lt. Barry Smith, Seminole County Sheriff’s Office.
The front end loader was taken from a construction site around the corner on Wekiva Springs Road. It’s a John Deer with a universal key, so anyone with a similar machine can use that key to drive off with a heavy piece of equipment from any construction site.
What do you want to bet that the douche that pulled this stunt also happens to work at the construction site around the corner? Did he think he was going to be able to crack the ATMs open like a piggy bank? Or was he going to scoop up the two ATMs and just drive them back to his house? I am guessing the “I could use a front end loader” revelation must have come right after he cracked Budweiser number six.
