Well it’s probably because the screen is obscured by fingerprints and grease. If the ladies can’t see your iPhone screen clearly how are they going to be mesmerized by it’s amazingness? Have no fear some genius foresaw this very problem and developed Phone Fingers. Just slide a couple of these bad boys on and your iPhone screen will be smudge free day after day. While other guys are trying to woo the ladies with their dim smudged displays yours will shine from across the bar like a beacon of light. Like moths to a flame the ladies will gravitate toward you.

Last shred of dignity, what? Who needs dignity when you have a smudge free iPhone?

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