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Truck Nutz - What The F?

by Mitch Martin on October 15, 2007

Flesh NutzCan anyone explain Truck Nutz to me? I am no genius but I did manage to make it through college and yet somehow the whole concept of hanging plastic balls off of a truck is beyond me. What message other than “I’m a douche bag” are you hoping to convey to your fellow drivers on the road. “My truck is so bad ass it has it’s own balls!” or “My balls are so big I had to hang a plastic set off of my truck!” Maybe you just want everyone to know that you love balls in general. Honestly I am baffled. Do they impress the ladies?

8″ Flesh Nutz - Best sellers! Hang ‘em if you got a pair! Full-sized truck nuts that stand about 8″ tall, 2.5″ thick, and about 5″ wide. These are probably the most popular type of truck nut on the market today. They have veins and wrinkles, and one nut hangs just a little lower. They’re made of solid polypropylene and weigh about a pound.

My favorite part has to be “They have veins and wrinkles,” because if you are going to hang some fake balls off of your truck they goddamn better be realistic looking. Don’t even come around here with those no wrinkle fake plastic balls of yours.

Seriously if you have a set of these on your truck leave a comment and explain why.

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Quote Of The Day
September 3, 2008 at 8:44 am

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike Honcho October 15, 2007 at 10:27 am

I think they’re the opposite of the naked lady mudflap. Hang some balls behind your tires!!

Jason - GorillaSushi October 16, 2007 at 2:52 am

I’ve always referred to them as “bumper-nuts” (which also happens to be my wife’s nickname).

Ian Buzz February 4, 2008 at 2:31 am

The 1st time i saw these on a truck, yes i’ve seen them 2 times, I was living in Ohio (yeah i know that’s the 1st problem) and i had to do a dub-take… i told my friends and they thought i was crazy, like u said what makes a person feel the need to display balls from the back of their truck other then to tell the world “I’m a douche bag”

wchoco September 26, 2008 at 4:13 pm

TruckNutz are a product of stupid rednecks. They don’t realize that it is a joke about them. People with big trucks are often stereotyped as having small penises, or penii, if you will. Their big truck is supposed to be compensation for said tiny dick. What is located next to the dick? Balls of course.

kansas March 4, 2009 at 11:19 am

These things are really popular with the retarded hillbilly git-er-done low IQ set in Kansas. Seems they have to show how small their balls really are by compensating with an over sized plastic pair hanging from their receiver hitch. You should also see the ten inch tall plastic deer carcasses. Very Classy.

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