Everyone knows about the jerk off I am talking about. He is the guy in the car marked ‘A’ and you are the soon to be poor sap behind him. The scenario usually plays out something like this.

You are cruising down the street in the right hand lane on the way to the intersection where you see one guy in the left lane and several people in the right lane all with their right turn signals on. You make what appears to be the smart move and change into the left hand lane so that when the light turns green you can blow past all those humps in the right hand lane who end up waiting for Aunt Edna to make it through the crosswalk with her walker so they can make their right. Then the light turns green and as soon as your brain registers that the light is green the douche nozzle in front of you turns on his left turn signal and rolls three feet forward. You are now officially fucked. There are inevitably twenty cars lined up on the opposite side of the intersection and you are going to be lucky if the ass clown with the left blinker on is going to be able to turn before the yellow light. So you end up pinned in as Aunt Edna sets a personal best for “time across the crosswalk” and everyone in the right hand lane makes their turns and the other twenty people stacked behind them cruise through the intersection.

Goddamn it, this pisses me off! This happens to me at least once a week usually while I am trying to either negotiate my way down Madison or my way across Broadway. I don’t have a problem with people making left hand turns but do the courteous thing and turn your blinker on before the fucking light turns green. Let everyone behind you know that you plan on wasting the entire green light sitting there waiting to make a left. Then we can all plan accordingly so that we don’t end up stuck behind your left turning ass. It’s like going into a public restroom where everything looks normal and using the toilet. Then right as you press the handle to flush the toilet a sign drops down that says “Caution: Water May Hit You In The Face” and before you have a chance to react, water sprays you in the face. Had the sign been displayed before you pressed the handle you would have chosen a different course of action.