Just about everyone I know has dropped a Vince Vaughn movie quote or reference at some point during a conversation to make a joke. We figured it was time to go back through some of Vince’s movies and pull out some of the best quotes his characters have had. Every time I read these they make me laugh.
Swingers
Trent Walker: There’s nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you’re money and that you want to party.
Trent Walker: I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet. You’re not sure where he’s coming from. Okay? You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, Mikey. You’re a bad man, bad man.
Made
Ricky Slade: Here’s 50 bucks, take this in case I get drunk and call you a bitch later.
Dodgeball
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya… it feels phenomenal.
Old School
Bernard “Beanie” Campbell: Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he’s crushing ass every Thursday night at our mixers.
Bernard “Beanie” Campbell: Well, Columbus wasn’t looking for America, my man, but that turned out to be pretty okay for everyone.
Bernard “Beanie” Campbell: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it’s going to be sick. I’m talking like crazy boy band ass.
Bernard “Beanie” Campbell: Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.
Wedding Crashers
Jeremy Grey: I’m a cocksman!
Jeremy Grey: I don’t give a baker’s fuck!
Jeremy Grey: A friend in need is a pest.
Jeremy Grey: Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What’d you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [makes sputtering motorboat noise] You motor boating son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?
The Break-Up
Gary Grobowski: There’s a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you’re in a fight. But I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.
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My favorite one got left out! From Made, when he’s sitting in the ceramics shop where they’re painting.
Salesperson: “Excuse me sir, there’s no smoking in here.”
Ricky Slade: “Why, you serving food?”
Salesperson: “No, it’s store policy. And you can’t sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. ”
Ricky Slade: “You believe this shit. I can’t sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don’t you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?”