What the hell is going on at Quiznos? Why are these SOB’s getting rid of mustard. Mustard is the goddamn cornerstone of any good sandwich shop. I first noticed this trend a few months ago at a Quiznos in Bellevue, WA. Whenever I went to Quiznos I would always ask them to put mustard on the sandwich instead of the bullshit sauce listed on the menu. So one day the guy says, “I don’t have mustard, but we have honey mustard.” I figure they just ran out. No big deal, right? So, I go with the honey mustard. I went to that same Quiznos once a week for about the next month and it was always the same. No mustard. That is when it finally dawned on me that these ass clowns just don’t carry mustard any more. A couple of weeks later I went into a different Quiznos in Bellevue. No Mustard. Couple weeks after that I went into a Quiznos in Yakima, WA. No mustard. At this point I realized this isn’t some jackass move by a couple of franchise owners, this must be a corporate move.

I challenge anyone to find another sandwich shop that doesn’t have some kind of mustard, whether it is yellow, dijon, or even fucking stone ground. Don’t even try to tell me that honey mustard counts. That shit is fucking salad dressing. I honestly quit going to Quiznos because of this, but to be honest, I never really thought it was that good anyway. Ooooohhhhh, you have a fancy toaster. I could give a rat’s ass. Even from a nutritional standpoint it is bullshit. A single packet of yellow mustard has 3 calories and 0.2 grams of fat. So even if the guy goes buck ass wild on your sandwich you are looking at about 15 calories and 1.0 gram of fat. On the flip side that honey mustard sauce the chuckleheads at Quiznos recommend has 330 calories and 33 grams of fat on one of their regular size sandwiches. So, it is bullshit in principal and it is bullshit nutritionally. In the end it just boils down to the fact that next time I am hungry I don’t care if I pass 15 Quiznos, I am heading to a sandwich shop that has some goddamn mustard.