Louis C.K. is hilarious and weird.  

Hottest Girls of MySpace - You Wanted Amateur? You Got Amateur
Mac Gs World - Erin’s Serving Hot Za in Happy Valley
Busted Coverage - William and Mary Sex Workers’ Art Show A Go
Loser with Socks - Bear Bryant Did Not Wear Houndstooth
Epic Carnival - Best Use Of Photoshop Award
Paul’s World - Carmen Electra Sexes up the Sauce (site NSFW)
The Putdown - celebrity super bowl picks!
Brahsome - Paris and Elisha Sitting in a Tree
Pointless Banter - If You Have a Second Life Get a First One
Bright Black Internet - Hot Video Of Beautiful Blonde Hannah
on 205th - Hot or Not? Ellen Pompeo
Drunken Stepfather - Alenea Seredova Upskirts
CO-ED Magazine - What Guys Do Wrong In the Bedroom… According to a Girl
Attuworld - Veronica Zemanova (NSFW)
The Bastardly - Gemma Atkinson - Nuts Magazine
Blog of Hilarity - Tasers are fun and educational
College Humor - Dunk Contest

Dear Fuck you Tom Brady,

This weekend you have the chance to become one of, if not the, greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL. Even MSN has a little thing for you. This Super Bowl Sunday could define your career. Well personally, I hope it defines your career as a top notch douchebag.

I hope you choke on your mouth guard during the first quarter. I hope Osi Umenyiora takes a shit on you. I hope Eli Manning makes you look like Rick Mirer. I hope R.W. McQuarters catches more balls than Wes Welker. I hope Michael Strahan adopts your bastard son. I hope Lawrence Tynes celebrates a game winning field goal by banging Gisele (twice). I hope Tom Coughlin suffocates Bill Belichick with his own hooded sweatshirt.

Let’s face it, you are a product of a system. If it wasn’t for Drew Bledsoe getting injured, you would probably be selling used cars back in Ann Arbor. Stevie Wonder could have quarterbacked the Patriots to the Super Bowl this year. It must be nice to have a cheating head coach tell you all the plays, huh? How hard can it be to just throw the ball as far as you can to Randy Moss?

Yeah, you’ve all been taught by a midget Yoda - wearing a cut-off New England sweatshirt - not to talk to the media about anything important. What’s it like to not think for yourself? … Oh, did Belichick not prepare you to answer that question? Asshat. Maybe I should ask Gisele what it’s like making out with a guy with an ass on his chin and a fivehead.

In conclusion, I hope the Patriots lose. I don’t care how, or by how much. Just lose. Go Giants!

I hate you,
Baba Ganoush

P.S. What are you doing next weekend? Want to come over and watch the Pro Bowl at my place?

A comment today about real men drinking Steel Reserve reminded me of a drinking challenge that we came up with in college. The Steel Challenge. The Steel Challenge is pretty simple, three Steel Reserve 40 ouncers in 3 hours without puking. I can’t remember how many people actually attempted the Steel Challenge but I know only one man, the infamous Berg, made it close.

I can’t remember the exact details but he finished his first two within the first 60 to 90 minutes. He was closing in on the three hour mark and he had nursed number 3 down to about the bottom of the label when his stomach gave up on the challenge. We all thought he was going to kick the shit out of the challenge. After he finished the first two so quickly we actually questioned if the challenge was hard enough. Everyone was disappointed about the failure and there was much talk about a rematch but it never happened. So if you are bored this weekend and are looking to catch a buzz you just might want to try conquering the Steel Challenge.

That’s right, the Danish brewer Carlsberg ASA has released their Vintage No. 1 which goes for 2,800 kroner or $400 per bottle. Only 600 12 ounce bottles were produced and they will be sold at three of Copenhagen’s most exclusive restaurants. The brew clocks in at 10.5 percent and was stored in special Swedish and French oak casks that supposed gave it it’s $400 taste.

Carlsberg boasts that it’s “probably the best” as well as the most expensive beer in the world.

Probably!? For $400 I want a little more assurance that I am about to imbibe the greatest goddamn concoction of barley and hops every crafted.

Eiken insisted that even though Vintage No.1 costs up to 400 times as much as a normal beer, its special ingredients make it “400 times tastier.”

Sold. Genius. How can you argue with such sound logic?

Original Story: Edmonton Sun

Although I don’t know a single word of German (maybe scheister, but don’t even know how to spell that one), this video is great. I can’t tell if this is a movie with made up subtitles, or if they’re really talking about the Cowboys, but either way it’s pretty good stuff.

Here are the winners.

Consumer Reports rated beer, too, based on taste, cost and calories. It gives its best buy rating to Busch Light, Natural Light and Keystone Light.

You have got to be dry fucking me! I love Busch Light. I don’t drink it on a regular basis anymore, but I spent four years of college drinking nothing but Busch Light so it holds a special place in my heart. But Natty Light and Keystone Light!? Did they even taste these beers? What did they compare them to, piss? I don’t know how Consumer Reports weighted the taste, cost and calories categories, but I am not going to believe a fucking thing that they write again. They just lost all street cred with me. The Super Bowl comes around once a year, it is a time for celebration for fucks sake. Buy a tasty micro-brew or at least some Bud Heavy.

Mad Mardigan bought 30 cases of Keystone Light for a party back in college because they had a $1 mail-in-rebate sticker on each 24 pack. We choked down the shit in the name of fun, but that was the first and last time we ever bought Keystone Light for a party. We later read the fine print and found out it was one rebate per household. It was hard to find an available shitter the next day and it wasn’t because people were throwing up. If Keystone Light tears up a bunch of in-their-drinking-prime college students, what is it going to do to a bunch of middle aged dudes?

I am not even going to dignify the Natty Light selection with a story or a response.

Original Story: WTAE TV

Again, this is what college history class should have been.

What is that, you ask? That is fire poker charred ass, son. A couple of chuckleheads calling themselves Neil and Bert made a video of one branding the other with a fire place poker in their local pub. I have a feeling that when this kid’s buzz wears off his ass is going to be killing him. Good luck sitting down on the shitter and doing work for the next few months. He is going to have to perfect some kind of one cheek shitting stance.

The full video is below.

This guy deserves to wear the stupid helmet after a stunt like this. At least is looks like Darwin worked his magic.

Hottest Girls of MySpace - Gloria Velez - Suffocating Hip Hop Model
Hottie Hunter - SexyFans - Argentina!
Mac Gs World - Bikini Cricket
Loser with Socks - This is the reporter that asked Tom Brady to marry her
Busted Coverage - Patriots Fan Shows Off Stripper Skills
Drunken Stepfather - Avril Levigne Pregnant Skater Girl
Epic Carnival - Birdman Is Back, Ready To Fly High Again
The Putdown - pettite v. clemens, mets land santana
Pointless Banter - I am not an object
Brahsome - Favorite Super Bowl Ads
Bright Black Internet - Hot Gallery: Jessica Burciaga
Blog of Hilarity - Oprah’s Sarcophagus
on 205th - Party man Corey Worthington gets his Aussie ass beat
CO-ED Magazine - Emerging Hotties of 2008
College Humor - Cute College Girl: Krystina Tonetti
Attuworld - Aria Giovanni and Crystal Klein (NSFW)

Check out this sweet ass mugshot of Robert Morin. That is Morin not Moron. Robert is wanted by police in Lewiston, Maine for a domestic assault warrant. Despite the fact that it looks like Mr. Morin is missing his upper jaw bones there is nothing wrong with him. One of the officers that snapped this priceless shot said that when Morin “removed his teeth, he became very flexible.”

Why did the guy remove his teeth? Did he just want to show off his talent? It looks like the bastard is trying to eat his nose.

Original Story: The Smoking Gun

J Diggles and I are going to start a new weekly post where we try to determine which social networking site has the hottest girls. J Diggles took MySpace which means I will be rolling with the ladies of Facebook.

On the left we have Kristin Ferry a 19 year old who happens to be hot. On the right we have Brooke, 22, an FSU student who is also a model.

How Did Your Cinco De Mayo End?

• Passed Out (38%, 5 Votes)
• Good Question (Blacked Out) (31%, 4 Votes)
• Little Bit of Everything (31%, 4 Votes)
• Got Some Strange Ass (0%, 0 Votes)
• Hugging the Toilet (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 13

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Thanks to Hottest Girls of MySpace and Hottest Girls of Facebook because I know both J Diggles and I used their resources to find our pictures.

Now this is a redneck tank top if I’ve ever seen one. You can bet your ass that those weren’t brand new when he cut the crotch out either. Man, nothing like shit shoulders during a fun run.

Pot smokers everywhere feast your eyes. That armored black box is an actual pot vending machine. By simply swiping your medical marijuana card and providing your finger print you can get either 1/8 ounce or 1/4 ounce packages of marijuana. There are at least three of these bad boys located in small nondescript shops in strip malls around the L.A. area.

Here is are two of my favorite quotes from the article.

“It helps a lot of patients who are in a lot of pain and don’t want to wait around to get help,” Robert Schwartz said. “It’s been working out great.”

Each purchase from the machine yields 1/8th or 2/8th of an ounce.

Let’s tackle these one at a time. First, how long is the line at a medical marijuana distribution center? You want me to believe someone is in such excruciating pain that they can’t wait to talk to a person to get their dope? If pot is such a magical pain killer let’s start using it instead of morphine.

Second, 2/8!? Really? Either Daisy Nguyen doesn’t understand 5th grade fractions or she assumes all the pot heads reading about this pot vending machine don’t know that 2/8 is 1/4. News flash Daisy, drug users/dealers know their fractions. Fuck, I would bet money that a drug user/dealer knows fractions and the metric system better than any average American you stopped on the street.

Who wants to set the over/under on how long it is going to take for someone to get a bulldozer and try to steal one of these bastards?

Original Story: Yahoo