Are you really wanting to punch someone in the face but can’t figure out how to get your trusty brass knuckles through the metal detector? In steps lexan knuckles (knuckle dusters). Not quite as cool as the blast knuckles that Honcho has been lusting after but it looks like they will do some damage.
They give a demonstration of the knuckle dusters by punching a watermelon, a carton of milk and a 16 oz pounder of Miller Lite. I understand the watermelon and milk, go ahead and punch the shit out of them. Why the hell would you punch through a perfectly good can of booze? I guess if you have already drank 4 or 5 of the pounders in the six-pack then punching through one might sound like a good idea but you are really just hurting yourself in the end. 30 seconds after punching the shit out of it you are going to realize it was your last beer and then you will have to make a run to the mini-mart.
Just A Guy Thing posted an interesting article on flirting that seems to be all the rage today. The article is pretty much “Flirting for Dummies,” going over the differences between how men and women flirt, the keys to flirting successfully and how technology has impacted flirting (text messaging, holler!).
The Dutch have a way with words:
Dutch-born psychoanalyst Manfred Kets de Vries blames the male super-ego. “A man behaving selfishly will ignore the implicit conduct of flirting in the blatant pursuit of sex.” He’s basically saying that if we were in a cave, the man would fling the woman over his shoulder and stomp away.
Up until now, my tool for flirting was R. Kelly’s “I’m A Flirt“, from Kells himself:
When U Bring Em Round Me / Let Me Remind U That I Am The King Of R&B / Do U Know What That Means / That Means If U Love Yo Chick / Don’t Bring Her To The VIP / Cuz I Might Leave Wit Yo Chick
Matt Venzke won the “12th Annual Search for America’s Ultimate Beer Fiend” put on by Wynkoop Brewing Co. in Colorado. He will free beer for life from the brewery, a $250 bar tab at his favorite bar and a chance to brew his on custom beer with the brewery’s top brewer. Who needs $250 in bar tab when you have fucking free beer for life?
“It’s not about drinking high quantities of beer, it’s about enjoying the diversities of beer,” Venzke said.
That is the most ri-goddamn-diculous thing I have read today. I want to punch Matt in the nuts. One, I have drank a shitload of different beers and two of course it is about drinking high quantities of beer. I just found a profile page on Matt and it says that he has visited over 450 breweries. I will give him some street cred for that but I am still pissed off.
How is it we didn’t know there was a contest where free beer for life was on the line? First we miss the beer pong championships in Las Vegas and now this. We need a goddamn intern here at Tasty Booze to prevent us from missing out on all of these beer drinking opportunities.
Two chuckleheads in Sydney, Australia tried to rob the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club wearing ski masks and carrying machetes. This might have worked except that 50 members of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club happened to be having their monthly meeting in the bar.
“They (the robbers) thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes,” Jim Webb, night supervisor of the club, told CNN. “They didn’t expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables.”
On of the robbers ran through a plate glass window and then jumped off a balcony to escape the table and chair wielding bikers. He didn’t make it far before the cops picked him up. The second robber wasn’t so lucky.
“We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops,” Vancornewal said.
Wouldn’t 50 some odd bikes parked in front of a bar be the first clue that tonight might not be the best night for tomfoolery? The criminal masterminds behind this caper ended up only being 16 and 20 years old. That is a picture of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club there in the upper right. They look like they are a little more than a bunch of dentists and lawyers trying to recapture their lost youth i.e. I would not fuck with them.
As the NCAA tournament approaches, my hatred for the Duke University men’s basketball team grows. Last night I found myself getting warmed up for the big tourney by routing against Duke as they played Georgia Tech. Despite their 11-14 record going into the game, the Yellowjackets played the Blue Devils surprisingly tough until Duke pulled away at the end. It was a very physical game, however the only real injury came when the Duke mascot attempted to literally crowd surf the length of the court during a TV timeout. Things are going well until the dismount… if only this could happen at Paulus.
Anytime you’re on an skateboard, building up rediculous speeds, there’s bound to be a wipeout. Meet the man who took on “The Hill.” I am guessing that’ll be the last time he tries that one. But, you never know….skaters are known to be pretty resilient. Maybe we’ll see part 2 in the future.
It’s a real shame that a can of spray paint doesn’t come with some kind of spell checker.
This photo is from the Gregg County campaign office of Barack Obama which is located in east Texas more specifically in the city of Longview. The building doubles as a phone service center and a couple of the phone company’s vans got the spray paint treatment as well. Somehow the genius/geniuses managed to get the spelling right on the vans. Maybe they figured two correct spellings would overshadow their colossal fuck-up on the first one.
There really isn’t anything too special about this one, other than the fact that someone’s voluntarily taking a taser shot. I love the screams these things generate!
Since Dubai currently has approximately 800 million billion trillion dollars to toss around (I’m rounding up), they decided to build the world’s longest arch bridge. Set to begin construction next month, it will be completed in 2012. It also looks awesome…
A Republican congressman from Arizona named Rick Renzi has recently been indicted on charges of money laundering and extortion, but is defiantly unwilling to resign. Seems that despite overwhelming evidence, he is continuing to profess his innocence and is evidently planning to ride this one out as long as possible. Obviously a conviction would force his dismissal, but until then, he’s going to party til the house burns down!
Reminds me of this mental giant who refused to resign as mayor, even after being convicted of exposing himself to underage girls. No word on whether that guy was a Republican as well…(hi Frank)
Police arrested Taleon for possessing about a half-ounce of crack cocaine and a loaded .25-caliber automatic handgun. While handcuffed in the back of the moving car, Taleon smashed out the rear window by head-butting it, police said. He then dove through the window and its steel frame, causing $1,800 in damage, Kunkel said.
After landing on his face, Taleon rose to his feet and, while still handcuffed, fled on foot and into a nearby pond, police said.
“He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers saying, ‘You’ll never catch me,’ ” Kunkel said.
Indeed, they didn’t. Two officers were injured while chasing Taleon. A week later, he turned himself in. But he didn’t return the department’s handcuffs, Kunkel said.
Jesus Christ! Head butting through the window of a moving car and then flipper kicking away!? That is ri-goddamn-diculous. They say it was a pond but that must have been one big ass pond if the officers couldn’t run around to the other side and catch him when he got out.
The story does get better. This dynamic identical twin duo are not only online gay-porn stars but they have also been arrested by a Roof Top Burgarly Task force investigating 40 rooftop burgarlies that have occured in the Phileadelphia area over the last 18 months. The two gay-porn/criminal masterminds where caught breaking into a beauty saloon through the roof using an axe and a hacksaw.
I can’t tell if the ultimate goal here is to try to pop the ball, or to bounce off the ball into the wall and knock yourself out. Probably not a good idea either way, dumbass.
