Tasty Booze Op-Ed: Democracy of the Few

Six weeks into 2008 and it is already the most exciting election of my lifetime. I haven’t been around for all that many – and I hear the Humphrey/Nixon, Nixon/Kennedy times were crazy – but my lifetime is all I am worried about right now. Anyway, six weeks in and the Democratic Party is in the heat of a vicious delegatorial (prediction: Colbert’s next word of the day) battle. And on the republican side we have a war hero that plenty of moderate minded democrats fell in love with 8 years ago and most conservatives can’t stand. (Of course, “can’t stand” is a whole hell of a lot better than how they feel for Mrs. Bill Clinton). And then there is this religious right Huckabee character who is hysterical because (1) democrats keep rooting for him even though they all admit when pressed, “ok fine, McCain is kinda cool” and (2) he has Chuck Norris, THE Chuck Norris, behind him in all his campaign speeches! What the hell is that about?

Anyway, forget Huckabee, it’s over for him. McCain is the man, for lack of a better man (and holy crap he looks mean), on the republican side. Nothing better than choosing a 70+ year-old guy who couldn’t get enough support in the party to win it 8 years ago against the guy who has trashed our economy, brought us in to an endless war, increased energy prices, made the Canadian dollar stronger than ours, and let the culprit of 9/11 continue on. Good work guys! Way to pick ‘em….

So you might think that the election is basically being handed to the democrats this year. The republicans (per the above) can’t even come up with a candidate they like, the democrats absolutely killed the republicans in the last midterm elections, and the current president’s approval rating is the lowest of any president in modern history. For example, after “I didn’t have sexual relations” Clinton did his deed, his approval rating bottomed out at 36%. Well Mr. Bush is polling a lovely 27% these days, just for being himself really. My point being, a silver platter with the highest office in the land on it is being served to the democrats for breakfast. And what do they do you ask? Oh ya, they get into the most bitter and longest lasting campaign fight in recent memory. A good buddy of mine, James Carville, of Old School and Clinton fame said it best. “The democrats have a long history of stealing defeat from the jaws of victory.”

Barack vs. Hillary: A Brief History of Time….

He wins Iowa

She cries

She wins New Hampshire

She wins lots of superdelegates (huh?)

She wins more states

In the roundtable debate she assumes the nomination

He wins some states

He wins some more states

She cries again

She wins some more states

She wins Michigan and Florida, but they don’t count (huh?)

They split Super Tuesday – he gets more states, she gets bigger states

He wins 8 states in a row

In his Potomac primary victory speech he assumes the nomination

He takes the lead

I can only assume she is going to at least “well up” pretty soon here, but you never know. The truth, of course, is they have nearly the same platform, the same beliefs, both are liberal, both would be a significant first for the nation (read: neither are a white male. Which reminds me, what the hell was Edwards campaign strategy again? Oh ya, he was the candidate of the poor, the forgotten, the taken advantage of. That may have worked moderately well against richie rich’s like John Kerry in 2004 for a week or two, but come on, he is running against a woman and an African American, and he is trying to claim the poor/underdog role? Please. That was dumb.). Anyway back to the relevant. One has slightly more experience (Clinton), one is the most powerful orator since uh Bill Clinton (Obama). And so they keep fighting. No end in sight.

So, Mr. Democratic Party, what are you gonna do about this battle? Hmmm. How about you take the decision out of the hands of the voters and give it to old crusty politicians (everyone trusts them right?), better known as our friendly superdelegates. This seems like a great way to re-ignite the people and really bring them into the party! Let’s just tell everyone their vote doesn’t count and these 700+ individuals are going to choose for us! Great idea! Wait. I thought he democrats were supposed to be the party of the people? So why don’t they trust the people enough the make the selection themselves? That’s weird. Kinda reminds me on the old 2000 elections when the Electoral College (blaming hanging chads and Jeb Bush is soooo 2001) overrode the people’s vote and gave the election to GWB. That worked out well for the democrats right? So let’s do it again! Well at least there are more superdelegates than Electoral College delegates. A democracy for 794 people has to be better than a democracy of 538 people right? We are getting there! Only 301 million people to go and everyone is represented…

Wow, this is way too much writing. Better recap. The republicans have chosen a candidate that they don’t even really like and could keel over at any second (if Chuck Norris doesn’t get to him first). The democrats are going to fight each other to the death and in the end may not even let the people choose their candidate. Wow, this is really shaping up. Where’s Nader and Buchanan? Are they still around? Dammit……