The Best Characters On TV

Charlie Kelly - It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie is a co-owner of Paddy’s Irish Pub, along with his friends Mac and Dennis, and his roommate, Frank (Danny DeVito). He lives in filth and is dirt poor; his apartment is often referred to by friends and acquaintances as a “shit hole.” Throughout the show, Charlie shows signs of several learning disabilities, including dyslexia, and is often accused of being “retarded” and illiterate by the other characters. All of the shittiest jobs at the bar, including rat detail (pulling the dead rats out of glue traps), cleaning the toilets and bathrooms, and cleaning out booth where a dead guy spent the night are called “Charlie Work.” He has an extremely short fuse and is prone to outbursts, rants, and raves, constantly trying to come up with a master plan to either get revenge on someone (friends included), or gain a higher status in the ranking system at the bar to ultimately get out of doing the “Charlie Work.” Also, Mac and Dennis consider him the toughest guy they know and he’s almost impossible to injure.

Charlie is definitely one of the funniest characters on TV, if not the funniest. Do yourself a favor if you haven’t seen It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and buy Season 1 on iTunes.

Eric Cartman - South Park
Cartman is notably evil and often reacts in violent and over-dramatic ways to events throughout the show. He dislikes and openly expresses his hatred of any race or group of which he is not a member, particularly gingers, hippies, Jews, which is the cause of his intense rivalry with Kyle. He often manipulates others to meet his own ends (at which he is very skilled) regardless of the consequences, even if it results in death and destruction.

You’d think because his mother appeared on the cover of CrackWhore Magazine, Cartman would be a rather disturbed little boy. But not so! Sure, he’s selfish, hot-tempered and swears like a sailor, but that’s only because he’s insecure about being the fattest kid in school. And what third-grader doesn’t need to blow off a little steam by screaming racial slurs now and again?

Some of Cartman’s evil schemes include robbing Kyle of his “Jew gold” at gun point, trying to get Kyle to suck on his balls because he lost a bet that leprechauns exist, running his very own amusement park, and pranking Butters by putting Butters’ dick in his mouth (hmmm?). Of course I have my favorite episodes where Cartman is the focal point. They include Cartmanland, Tsst, Cartman Gets an Anal Probe, and Weight Gain 4000 plus many, many more.

Jack Bauer - 24
After serving in many different career fields, Jack has a number of skills that he has garnered over the years. During his time in the U.S. Army and Delta, he learned to speak foreign languages, became a very deadly fighter, and, perhaps most notably, kill people. He is also an expert shot, seemingly regardless of whatever weapon he uses. He is very fast, as well as very durable. His ability to withstand torture has been shown time and time again, as he refuses to break. This was shown in Day 2 when he clinically died (temporarily) rather than give up the location of a chip to an expert interrogator. Then, following Day 5, he spent 20 months in a Shanghai prison and was subjected to brutal torture everyday, but he never spoke a single word, let alone give the Chinese any vital information. During the early stages of Day 6, Jack is tortured and could have been killed by Abu Fayed as part of a deal Fayed made with the United States in exchange for the stoppage of terrorist attacks, but manages to escape. Jack is also a very capable mission-leader, a skill he garnered from his military career as well as from his time in the LAPD SWAT division. His fighting skills are top-notch, as he is more than capable of killing a man with his bare hands, as witnessed in Days 2, 4, 5, and 6. Perhaps his best skill is simply killing people, which makes him a joy to watch. All in all, Jack Bauer is an A-1 Badass.

Michael Scott - The Office
Michael is the regional manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. He is socially awkward, has few friends, and is quite lonely. He thinks of himself as a friend first, a boss second, and an entertainer third. His attempts at humor reflect his desperate wish to be liked, but they prove unfunny at best and are often inappropriate, and sometimes offensive or unwittingly mean. Much of the humor of his character derives from his lack of self-awareness, which is highlighted by the awkward situations he creates for himself and his inability to extricate himself from them. His shortfalls are compounded by his seemingly huge ego. His subordinates, with the exception of Dwight Schrute, all think of him as a screw-up and generally incompetent boss. Before he was promoted to regional manager he was a great salesman, which sharply contrasts with his social awkwardness. He is sexist and racially insensitive at times, objectifying women and applying multiple black stereotypes to Stanley and the workers in the warehouse, particularly Darryl. Michael is socially inept, which has obviously been disabling in both his private and professional lives. Nevertheless, he’s one funny S.O.B. Darryl put it best, it takes a lot of courage and bravery to wake up and be Michael Scott each day.