Kaz Matsui Puts The Ass In Astros

Injury disclosure is a weird and unfortunate aspect of being a professional athlete. Luckily this isn’t a well known practice in all lines of work. For example, I don’t want to call my boss and tell him that I’m really hungover and can’t come to work, instead of just saying that I have “food poisoning” or “flu-like symptoms.”

Kaz Matsui, the second baseman of the Houston Astros, is probably wishing he wasn’t a professional baseball player right now. In his fifth year in the Majors, since coming over from Japan, Matsui has apparently been suffering from…um…anal fissures. Here’s what WebMD has to say about anal fissures:

An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements. Most anal fissures heal with home treatment after a few days or weeks (acute anal fissures). Anal fissures are caused by vigorous stretching of the anal canal. A fissure may develop if you are constipated and try to pass a large, hard stool; if you don’t relax your anal muscles (sphincter muscles) during a bowel movement; or sometimes after repeated diarrhea.

You learn something new everyday… Matsui is now undergoing surgery to repair this injury, so fantasy baseball players take note, he’ll likely start the season on the disabled list - this way he won’t have to sit on the bench. My roommate points out that anal fissures are still better than anal fisting. He should know, he’s a doctor…of love…

Original story: Houston Chronicle. And thanks to Brian for the find.