Everyone makes jokes about not wanting to go to prison in a foreign country. I always think of Martin Lawrence’s quote from Blue Streak, “…nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.”
Well our own great state of Texas is taking a run at the title. A recent anonymous survey conducted by the Justice Department found that Texas prisons have the highest rates of rape in the country. In one prison 27.8% of the inmates reported being victims of “non-consensual sex acts”. Since we are talking about a prison full of dudes it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to figure out what they are talking about. We have all made jokes about federal-pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiaries but that number blew my mind.
The situation is so bad that the Justice Department just finished a TWO DAY hearing devoted to rape in Texas prisons. Normally, most people would want to get a prison rape talk knocked out in thirty minutes or less. You know the situation is bad when they devote 960 minutes to it.
So if you are heading somewhere in Texas like South Padre Island and you have a tendency to have a little too much fun and possible run-ins with the law, lock it up. One official was quoted as saying, “…victims tend to be younger, of slighter build and first-time offenders.” If you can’t lock it up you better contact Sean Connery about one of those anal bum covers he mentioned trying to invent on the below episode of Celebrity Jeopardy.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Ol' Dirty Curty // Mar 31, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Ol’ Dirty’s biggest fears:
1.) Sharks
2.) Girls named Amber
3.) Going to prison
2 joe // Apr 19, 2008 at 8:55 am
hi i enjoyed the read
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