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Greatest Mini-Mart In The World

by Mitch Martin on April 27, 2008

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Boones Farm and Mad Dog 20/20 as far as the eye can see. It’s a thing of beauty.

You wouldn’t expect to find the greatest mini-mart in the world in a small town like Ellensburg, WA but that is where it is. The Happy Market is the one stop shop for anything and everything you could possible need. Forgive the poor picture quality. I was buzzed up on tequila, stuffed full of Mexican food and my Blackberry Curve was the only available camera.

The Happy Market isn’t just a pretty fortified wine display. They have Airsoft BB guns that are made to look like the most popular assault rifles. They have an entire wall of porn DVDs featuring classics like Only Hand Jobs 4 (Really!? What the fuck wasn’t covered in 1 through 3?). The front display case is stuffed full of glass water pipes (for tobacco of course), machetes, cigars and even those telescopic steel batons that I thought were illegal.

If the Happy Market had existed in the small town where I attended college I don’t think all of my friends and I would have made it out alive. At the very least someone would have lost an eye in a Boones Farm fueled assault rifle bb gun fight.

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{ 1 trackback }

Don Chavez » Beach Dumper
April 28, 2008 at 6:44 am

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Mr. Wonka April 27, 2008 at 3:05 pm

answers the age old question, “What is the best thing to purchase along with Boone’s Farm?”

A: a completely realistic looking BB gun…

Sarah . . . loves WSU April 27, 2008 at 9:04 pm

you forgot to mention the amazing supply of bulk candy.

Kizza April 28, 2008 at 6:39 pm

I spent a lot of time there… Look for “camo” beers… 9-10% alcohol, 24oz. Cans … Only place I’ve seen them

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