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Masturbating Prevents Cancer, It’s Science!

by Mitch Martin on April 29, 2008

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Let’s just be honest with one another, none of us really need an excuse to look at internet porn. However, it never hurts to have a little ammunition in reserve just in case your girlfriend, wife or even parents bust into the room. Researchers in Australia have found that men who blow their load regularly had a significantly lower risk of developing prostate cancer. The scientists believe that carcinogens build up in the prostate when a man does not regularly feed the ducks. In fact they found that men who ejaculated five times a week were a third less likely to get cancer.

First of all, can we nominate these guys for some kind of an award? Does anyone have the email address for the Nobel Prize committee so that I can forward this on? Not only have these researchers proven that it is healthy to masturbate (suck it bible thumpers) they have given us the only excuse we will ever need when we are caught watching porn. You aren’t a sicko abusing yourself to some platinum blonde getting double teamed, you are trying to maintain your prostate and prevent cancer. You are trying to make sure that you are around for years to come so that you can spend more time with your girlfriend, wife, kids, family, etc. You couldn’t come up with a better excuse if you tried.

Looks like I know what I am going to be doing after work tonight.

Original Story: Yahoo News

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

jack6886 April 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

I’m curing cancer right now

Smith September 2, 2008 at 3:15 am

Thanks for such an informative post about cancer.I need this info because my friends mother is suffering from Prostate Cancer, information mention in this article will greatly help me in offering her some advice
thank you

richard simms February 1, 2009 at 3:13 am

i thought i heard on tv last night that masturting gives you cancer

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