Monday Rant - Nail Clipping At Work

What the fuck is with the guy that clips his nails at his desk or in his cubicle? Can anyone explain this to me? I am not talking about some guy that clips off a single hang nail I am talking about the guy that pulls over the garbage can and goes through a full ten nail session. I am on my fifth office / company since college and there has been one of these bastards at every location. Generally it is an older guy, something like 40+ and the clipping always happens at some completely random time like 10:15 a.m. on a Wednesday. Like all of a sudden the guy has an epiphany that his nails are too long and the fuckers must be cut now. Waiting the seven hours until he is in the comfort of his own home is not option. He has long nails and they must be dealt with. If at this point he would look up from his nails and yell a Jack Bauer like “Dammit!” I might cut him some slack.

Sometimes at 2.17 p.m. on Thursdays I realize my pubes have reached ungodly lengths. Guess what, I fucking deal with it. I don’t bust out out my Norelco trimmer from my desk drawer and go to town. Sure I would love to take care of the trim right then but I have a couple things called decency and respect for my fellow coworkers.

It isn’t the nails themselves that bother me. It is the fact that this guy has brought bathroom hardware into the office to perform a job that should be done in the bathroom, or at a bare minimum at least over a goddamn sink. If people thought it was a good idea and acceptable to clip your nails at the office then you would be able to pick up a nice sharp pair of clippers in the office supply section next to the fucking highlighters.