One week of regular season baseball down, an ass-load to go.

Ol Dirty’s thoughts on the way things are going can be summed up with one word. That is if ‘What the shit?’ were one word.

Things are crazy in the Majors right now. Baltimore is 5-1 after a 4 game SWEEP of the Mariners. Detroit is 0-6 with the 2nd highest payroll in baseball. A-Rod is earning more this year than all of the Florida Marlins, combined! Barry Bonds has no team. Dontrelle Willis sucks. And who the hell is Jeff Keppinger?

Players you want:

Jeff Keppinger - Cin SS He’s filling in for starter Alex Gonzalez (knee) but he’s also leading the league batting .435 . After his first week performance many are saying Keppinger will remain at the starting spot even after Gonzalez’s return. Ouch.

Brandon Inge - Det Util The most productive member of the Tigers’ offense, Inge is also filling the holes for the injured. Inge (AKA the bane of my existence last year) is hitting .316 with 2hr and 4RBI’s. While he stays playing, he’ll continue to do well.

Xavier Nady - Pit RF Named the NL player of the week with a league leading 9 RBI’s and 3HR’s Nady is gold. He will likely suck soon because he is on my team.

Ben Broussard - Tex 1B, RF This former Mariner has a God-awful batting average (.190) with only 4 hits. However, 3 of those hits are homeruns, one of which a Grand Slam. When he makes contact he crushes the shit. One of my favorite players, Broussard will rebound with more consistency. (Don’t quote me on this)

Micah Owings - Ari SP Get him now. Owings led the D-Backs to an 8-1 victory in a 2-hit, 6 2/3 inning performance, striking out 9 and walking 2. Cha-ching!

Next Ol’ Dirty Fantasy installment; Players you want less than Whitney Houston.