TastyBooze Predicts The Final Four

Earlier this year, TastyBooze proved our sports knowledge by predicting the Super Bowl. Of course, only myself and J Diggles went out on a limb and picked the New York Giants, but I think we’ve all learned from our mistakes.

So, here we are, March Madness is coming to a close with the Final Four this Saturday and the Championship Game on Monday night. All No. 1 seeds, a front runners’ dream! Below are the TastyBooze Staff predictions. Some of us will be watching and betting on these games, or on a beach in Mexico not giving a fuck. Don’t worry, we know even less about college basketball (well, at least men’s college basketball). But we don’t give a shit, all of our brackets are busted, so take these predictions with a grain of salt. I on the other hand will be betting my life savings on Kansas!

J Diggles: As much as I want to see the excitement that is Kevin Love vs. Tyler Hansbrough, Memphis is going to rain on this parade and keep raining all the way to the championship. Joey Dorsey eats rookie Love for dinner in game one and then Derrick Rose says “Bye Lawson” in the final. Memphis 82, UNC 77

Baba Ganoush: Memphis shoots worse from the free-throw line than I do, UCLA rolls. Kansas finally gets their revenge on Roy Williams and all white people at UNC. In the championship, it’s Rock Chalk Jayhawk, baby! Kansas all around offense and maturity prevail against the bitch-ass Bruins. Kansas 71, UCLA 63

Mitch Martin: I know jack shit about college basketball so it is hard to write anything here that will sound smart or well informed. However I will be in the sweet land that is Las Vegas this weekend and I definitely will be dropping some coin in the sports book. I think UCLA is going all the way (Pac-10 represent!) so I have to pick them over Memphis. For Kansas vs. UNC I am going to take Kansas for the Roy Williams revenge factor mentioned by Baba and the fact that UNC beat WSU so I want to see them go down (I might as well pick this based on uniform design). UCLA 75, Kansas 67

Mr. Wonka: Memphis is stacked with tall, lanky, athletic players, I hear that is good for basketball. Free throws won’t matter when they are dunking over UCLA’s fat-boy Kevin Love. UNC has more fire power than Kansas and Roy Williams sticks it to the Jayhawks yet again. In the final, UNC continues to roll, giving Memphis only their second loss of the season, but it’s costly, “He Loved It.” UNC 80, Memphis 75

Mike Honcho: I don’t know shit about NCAA basketball. I do know that the MLB season started this week and that’s what I’ll be concentrating on this weekend. But, since I’m a Coug, and UCLA is in the PAC-10, go UCLA! If they win, WSU gets money. Plus, they have this cat on their squad named Kevin Love, who the announcers want to bend over and “What, what, do it in the butt” (thanks, Butters). Go Dr. Love! UCLA 81, UNC 74

Ol’ Dirty Curty: Really, who the fuck knows? But, Memphis has a bigger (total) package than UCLA. The Bruins tend to stay out of foul trouble so Memphis’ crap shoot at the line shouldn’t come into play. Dorsey gives Love a reach around in compensation for violation. One more missed/made shot and Kansas isn’t even in the Final Fuckin’ Four. Davidson is not UNC, and Kansas is not consistent. Their mission for revenge will fail. Championship = great game. UNC 72, Memphis 70

Bill Brasky: There is only one Final Four and it already happened. The Ohio State University is the National Champion!