As I have gotten older my hangovers have gone from non-existent to completely debilitating. Back when I was a young buck freshman year of college I could drink till 2 a.m. get up at 7 a.m., do a house job and be at class by 8 a.m. Sure, I might have technically still been drunk but the point is I could do it. If I tried to pull the same stunt now on a Wednesday night there is no way I would be making it to work on Thursday. Sure I can wake up by 7 a.m. but I can’t remember my own name until at least 10 a.m. and doing anything that requires actually functioning as a human is out of the question.
As a result I have decided to make a life changing decision. Sure I could cut back on drinking or I could buy into one of those miracle hangover cures, but I say that’s the sissy way out. I am going to skip all that nancy bullshit. I am going to face the motherfucker head on. I am going to take my hangover by the horns and say, “Fuck you, hangover!” and then wrestle the little bitch to the ground.
Sure that last double whiskey water is probably a bad idea but you know what? Fuck it! No longer am I going to be afraid of my hangover. I am going to pop out of bed at 7 a.m. fresh as a fucking daisy, well a drunk daisy, and I am going to tackle the day. No longer are Sunday mornings going to be spent laying in bed or on the couch popping Excedrin and wishing I was dead. I am going to be productive. Maybe I will go grocery shopping, maybe I will braise some chickens in pork fat and make a nice Coq au vin for my lady friend. And work? I can handle work. That’s the beauty of email, son. A little extra after shave to cover the 6 hour old Bud Light smell in case the boss comes by and I will be money.
It’s a new day and I am fucking stoked. Wednesday night at the bar? Bring it, and be prepared for tequila shots.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Your tune will change once you spend your Wednesday lunch hour curled up in the back seat of your car, or your coworkers start asking why you’re randomly vomiting into a cubicle trashcan.
Just remember, Pepto is your friend. Godspeed.
i say amen to that mitch. AMEN. and happy friday.
let me know how that works out for ya..
I suppose if you found a successful site called tastybooze, you have to commit to tackling drinking head on. it’s like getting a tattoo on your face. You’re prett much committed. I applaud you and support your decision. But I’m still not gonna drink on a weeknight, and all I have to do in the morning at my job is drink coffee and bake cookies.
Kudos brother. God speed.
Thanks for the support.
@Shawn
The good news is that I will be drinking on Wednesday nights so I won’t have to worry about lunch on Wednesday. Also I don’t go to lunch with coworkers so if I am going to puke in anyone’s care it will be my own.
The cubicle trashcan vomit would probably be my new low point in life. It’s important to have goals.
I don’t work in a cubicle, but I feel like the cubicle trash can vomit is only as bad as your distance from the bathroom. if it’s really close, and you just can’t be bothered to walk there, that’s a big problem. if it’s a long ways away, well…you’re just taking care of business efficiently. it’s geography, people!