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F–k It! We Are Doing A Flashlight!

by Mitch Martin on May 5, 2008

fusion-flash-light.jpg

Having conquered the five bladed razor Gillete is taking the next logical step in the evolution of the razor and adding a flashlight. I am glad to see that they finally got off the lets-add-another-blade bandwagon but what the fuck am I going to do with a flashlight on my razor? Are there a whole lot of guys out there that are shaving in the dark? Don’t most guys shave in the same bathroom that is equiped with four or five 200 watt spotlights that their ladies use to exam every individual pore on their face?

I checked on Amazon and the standard 5 blade Fusion goes for about $15.50. So guess how much it is going to cost you to spotlight those little bastard whiskers before you drop five blades of cutting fury on them? $150. No that isn’t a mistake, I didn’t fuck up the decimal point. Gillete wants you to pay $150 for a razor that has a flashlight in it. For $150 I shouldn’t even have to touch the thing. It should just fly around my face and shave my neck so smooth that someone would walk up and tie a goddamn Cub Scout kerchief under it.

Product Page

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{ 1 trackback }

inventions
May 7, 2008 at 3:56 am

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

J Diggles May 5, 2008 at 3:17 pm

thats a two-for-one in the old emergency kit though

Mr. Wonka May 5, 2008 at 4:21 pm

if you’re in a place that has no light, can’t you wait to shave until THE LIGHT OF THE SUN ILLUMINATES YOUR CURRENT AREA?! if you’re in a dark place with no lights, chances are you don’t have a goddamn mirror either. if you’re out camping or some such nonsense, why would you need to shave at all?

I honestly can’t think of ONE legitimate scenario where this would be needed. maybe it’s a joke.

Mitch Martin May 5, 2008 at 5:24 pm

@Wonka

It could be a joke but that is a pretty legit looking product page.

Mr. Wonka May 6, 2008 at 4:18 pm

true. I guess stupidity and bad marketing trumps comedy.

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