If you are dumb enough to tell someone that have three hours to quit smoking, drinking, swearing and engaging in some sex acts because “they were going to be good Christians now,” you should be prepared for some pretty serious repercussions.

A 24 year old man was dumb to say that very thing to his 28 year old wife at about 2:00 a.m. after she had woken him up to get some lovin’. As you can guess, someone looking for some ass isn’t going to like to hear that they need to get their Christian on. A fight broke out and neighbors ended calling the local fuzz to come in a break things up. When the law arrived they found one pissed off lady.

the woman denied any assault had taken place, and repeatedly, without sparing a vulgar euphemism, told the deputies about how unsatisfied she was with her sex life — some of the time carrying around a half-gallon of whiskey while doing so.

Apparently the wife wasn’t able to just express her rage in words and at one point she threw the family’s 20 pound dog at one of the deputies. The husband agreed to leave the house with kids, ages 3 and 4, and go to a hotel for the evening. When he tried to leave he found his sex starved and booze crazed wife had jacked both his wallet and his keys. Some unlucky sap of a deputy had to try to take this crazy woman to the county jail and she sure as shit didn’t make it easy.

The deputy who drove the woman to jail reported she questioned his manhood, asked God to forgive him because “he knows not what he does,” and “donkey-kicked” him in the shin while he attempted to walk her from his patrol car to the jail, reports said.

Original Story: Kitsap Sun