A couple of weeks ago Holy Taco put together a list of the 11 manliest cocktails in the world. We thought we would take it the other way and put together a list of the ten drinks you shouldn’t be caught dead with. Whether you are out with the boys or trying to scam on some ladies there is no excuse to be sipping anyone of these unmanly drinks.
Wine Spritzer - First off what the fuck is a spritzer? Secondly why would any man that has a pair be caught dead with one?
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Apple-tini - If you are man and you are holding a martini glass the liquid inside better be clear or brown not neon fuck green. Basically you shouldn’t drink anything that has a “-tini” in the drink name. Apple-tini, Choco-tini, etc.
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Blow Job Shot - This is a classic shot of choice for bachelorette parties and girls-night-out activities. If a man is caught taking one of these shots, it either means that he has lost a bet, gay, or in the process of a sex-change.
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Vodka w/ Cranberry Juice - “It’s a natural diuretic. My girlfriend drinks it when she’s got her period. What, do you got your period?” –The Departed
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Mike’s Hard Anything - There is nothing hard about any of these drinks, they are fruit flavored sugar bombs. Just because they sell them at sporting events doesn’t make them acceptable.
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Water - If you need a break then man up and drink a Bud Light like everybody else.
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Michelob Ultra - There is no such thing as a beer that goes with working out. If you are going to drink a beer, drink a fucking beer and don’t be a goddamn sissy.
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Anything with Diet Coke - I don’t care if you are mixing it with rum or JD, there is nothing manly about announcing to the entire bar that you are watching your calorie intake.
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Zima w/ Jolly Rancher - This was the favorite drink of the high school chicks back in my day. Enough said.
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Cosmopolitan - a good rule is that if the ladies on Sex and the City drink it there is no excuse for you to have it in your hand.
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I’m not gay, I swear!
“If I was desperate, I would piss in a bottle and drink that before Bud.”
Yeah, drink your own piss before Bud. That’s manly.
at least mike’s makes funny commercials!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUNalV4ughc
Meh… It got alcohol in it? I’ll drink it!
if you are a man, you know there is no such thing as man-drinks or female-drinks, it’s only a problem when you are not certain of your own sexuality.
I have to agree with Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj with their comment of number 42 i believe it was… This is just another way to hide their alcoholism… Plus if men didn’t have NASCAR to hide their alcoholism… then they would be trying to find places to beat their wifes in places so they wouldn’t get hauled off to jail. This list is another lame excuse for men to hide their lack of testosterone. I proudly sport the “Bitch Beers” in my fridge, and if you have a problem with that, i will be the less of the two drunk people beating your ass because you don’t have the wits or the balance to stand on your own two damn feet.
Diet drinks aren’t always for calorie watchers you douche. Some of us are hypoglycemic or diabetic and would like to get our drink on without dying right away…No sugar means Diet Coke…Nice research you did. Where’s the Lemon Drop? Where’s the Mojito? Where’s the Corona with Lime?
Having half a pint it’s not manly either… you have to bring a dr. certificate if you want to escape shame at a pub…
Anything with diet ehh…How bout if you are a diabetic. Idiot
If you won’t touch any of the drinks on this list just because you’re afraid that it will make you look “unmanly”, you’re pathetically insecure. Don’t let anyone –much less some anonymous geek with a blog– dictate your tastes!
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I’d rather eat my own shit then drink bud light or coors light. Fuckin nasty.
Anything with Diet Coke xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa
I spent a good few years working at a store selling booze, and that actually means nothing.
Any hard alcohol with ice or mixer.
Real men drink straight from the bottle if it’s whiskey and from a glass if it’s cognac. No ice is ever added. Ice melts and sissifies the drink.
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