Today marks the beginning of the 3rd round of the Bigger Dance. Ol’ Dirty still leads the Tasty Booze pack with 63 points while the shit-talkin’ Baba Ganoush trails by eight with 55. The hopeless bunch is Mitch Martin at 52, J Diggles at 51, and Frank the Tank at 49. Ol’ Dirty’s lead continues to widen despite the loss of Heigl in the 2nd round. Even my other, shittier bracket is beating the hopeless crew. I just know women, what can I say.

Today brought few surprises with Angelina Jolie demolishing the what-the-fuck-is-she-still-doing-here Molly Sims. The ancient Eva Longoria somehow continues to win and took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights of Carrie Underwood. The fine-as-humanly-possible Marisa Miller ousted Hayden Panettiere, and Scarlett Johansson out-boobified Eva Mendes.

Tomorrow’s match-ups should be similar:

Elin Nordegren over Alessandra Ambrosio –Tiger’s hot wife is proven in this competition and people want her to win.

Jessica Biel over Halle Berry–How old is Berry, and Jessica Biel could be the hottest woman alive.

Jessica Alba over Maria Sharipova–Alba can’t make a good movie, but she can make a good woodie, and she has won the Bigger Dance twice

Jessica Simpson over Keeley Hazell–This is a close one as Hazell took out Gisele in the 2nd round. Simpson has also won this thing before, but she is very played out.

If any of these predictions don’t come to be, consider them upsets, and the competition fixed.

Final prediction:
Marisa Miller vs. Jessica Biel

Biel wins it all and for a 5th straight year, a hottie named Jessica is crowned Queen of the Hard Wood.