After a six year wait it took a jury less than a day of deliberations to acquit R. Kelly of all 14 child pornography charges that he faced. Had he been found guilty he could have served up to 15 years in jail. Of course if you use the Nicole Richie celebrity jail time formula he probably would have served about 77 days of the 15 year sentence.
In case you don’t remember a tape was mailed to the Chicago Sun Times back in 2002 which reportedly show R. Kelly engaging in a threesome with one of the girls being only 13. Both R. Kelly and the supposed victim, now 23, denied being the humpers in the video. R. Kelly’s defense team focused their argument on a large mole on R. Kelly’s back. R. Kelly has a fingernail size mole on his lower back and the defense argued that the man in the video had no such mole. At one point the defense played a purposely altered clip of the video showing two headless bodies having sex. They argued that if they could remove the heads from the video someone could have added R. Kelly’s head to the video.
I have no doubt that R. Kelly has done some freaky ass shit in his day but I can never really buy into the “this anonmous tape just showed up” thing. This has generated so much press that if it was real the person that turned it in would want their 15 minutes of fame. Either way it gives me an excuse you post one of my all time favorite Dave Chappelle sketches.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Shaggy // Jun 13, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I am a legal genius.
I crafted the “It Wasn’t Me” defense in 2000 and published in the form of a popular reggae/hip hop song and have been waiting patiently for a high profile client to utilize it.
Mr. Kelly, I will be expecting a portion of legal fee, or at least a cameo on your new album, 14PlayOvertime.net
2 R. Kelly Aquitted In Less Than An Hour | micklanders // Jul 10, 2008 at 2:43 am
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