Even booze hounds need to have goals in life so, I decided to come up with a list of the 10 things that every true drinker should accomplish before they die. Not every item on the list requires drinking massive quantities of alcohol. Once you have covered every item on this list you will be a well rounded drinker who should have a shit-ton of good stories to tell. Personally I can put a check mark next to six of these so it looks like I still have some work to do. Figure out where you stand and then plan your weekends accordingly.
Case In A Day - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I prefer to think not. You need to sit down with a couple of friends and a couple of cases and power through the day and the case. People that have never done this think it’s easy and the people that have, know it’s not. Added Difficulty: Keep a hand written journal of what you are doing each time you crack a beer. Bonus Points: If anything is legible after beer 17.
Run The Taps At A Bar… Conditions: must have 12 or more taps. This is pretty self explanatory. Belly up to the bar and order a single pint of every beer they have on tap one after the other. You are going to get to try a lot of new beers and chances are you will be piss drunk before the sun goes down.
Century Club - Pretty simple, 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes without puking. Much like the case in a day challenge people always think this is easy until they actually try it. 60 seconds starts feeling like 5 seconds once you pass the 70 minute mark.
Brew Your Own Beer - Yeah it might not taste that great and you will be “that guy” that makes all your friends try their shitty brew but every true booze hound has to give it a shot at least once.
Pub Crawl Conditions: 12 or more pubs covering at least 1 mile. There is nothing better than getting a big group of friends together on a sunny day and catching a buzz while going on a walk. A beer at each stop with a short walk in between and you will be primed for a night of debauchery.
Go To An AA Meeting at least once you should see how the other half lives. Learn a lesson from Charlie Kelly, throw out your beer before you actually get into the meeting. If you don’t somebody will rat you out.
Learn Something About Wine And I don’t mean memorizing the flavors of Franzia, Carlo Rossi or Charles Shaw. Go on a wine tour and actually pay attention (without pounding Busch Lights between wineries) or go to a multi-course meal where they pair a wine with each course and explain why they go together. The knowledge will pay off each and every time you take a lady out for a nice dinner.
Black Out Before Noon - Just once get out of bed at 9 a.m. and crack a beer instead of having your morning Tropicana. There are a finite number of years in life where you can get drunk before noon and not feel like a total douche about it the next day. If you are a college football fan then this is easy to accomplish. If beer isn’t your bag first thing in the A.M. then I would recommend a Boones Farm Strawberry Hill. It’s slightly fruity, high in booze and fan-fucking-tastic.
Oktoberfest in Germany - As someone who’s been there twice, trust me in terms of a unique alcohol experience, it’s pretty unparalleled. Any place where you can puke on the floor under your table, and one waitress jokes with you while she cleans it up and another brings you another beer is unique in my book. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a girl throw up while making out with some dude so that it squirts out the side of their mouths. Gross but hilarious. –Mr. Wonka
Scotch - learn to drink scotch either on the rocks or neat. Much like golf, it is a pain in the ass to learn, but it will pay off in the business world. While you are at it, learn the difference between bourbon and whiskey so that you don’t look like a total fucking hayseed. If you really want to get a gold star on your chart learn the difference between a blend and single malt as well.
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1/2 pint? Mei, are you kidding? Here in the UK it’s either a pint or a 50ml measure of spirits, and the aim is to down your drink in one - any more attempts count as ‘bogies’ which end up as your final score. Having done a full round in 18, and with the scored T-shirt to prove it, I can say it’s a fecking good night (but you might wake up in a bathtub with facebook to haunt you afterwards).
Drinking proper Scotch “on the rocks” is an affront to proper Scotch and all Scots everywhere!
Drink a beer and type a command in Linux. Repeat the preceding task till you pass out.
Here’s one to add to the list. You have to hit Savannah Georgia for St Patty’s day. It runs for 4 days and if you can get past the smell of urine running in the streets your good to go. It’s highly recommended for professional use only!!
You’ve been warned
Chumleys is a gay bar Jakey. And you’ve been wondering why all these guys have been buying you drinks
Personally, I recommend getting rat arsed in Soi 11, Bangkok on Meekong Whiskey ( very cheap and nasty stuff) with the good old boys and women of easy virtue…. only to wake up 2 days later in an unknown Bangkok slum area, naked, minus passport, wallet and butt virginity. Priceless.
Horseshoe Pub in Hudson, MA. That’s the place to go for “Running the Taps”. They literally have 80 beers on tap. The best part is that out of those 80 there isn’t any of that shit they call beer like Bud light and Coors crap. You can get that stuff in bottles, but the bottled list is just as big.
Thank god I live less than a mile away from that Pub. I have the option to stumble home =)
Not that it changes the original point, but whiskey, ending in “ey”, refers specifically the Irish, and American varieties. Whisky, without the e, is all other varities. Bourbon is still a whiskey, but not a whisky.
3 person quarters, with a handle of Beam.
What about the “super stop light”? Three shots in rocks glasses, the first is straight apple puckers (green), the second is everclear and OJ (orange) and the third is tequila with tabasco sauce (red)….that’s a good way to get someone to puke.
JD is sour mash. do you guys ever read the labels of what you drink?
Live in Hoboken, NJ for one year.
This is the most retarded article I have ever read. Congratulations for peddling more frat boy idiocy - no one would ever give a shit about your “accomplishments” after the age of 21.
Edward Forty-hands:
Duct tape bottles of your favorite 40oz. malt liquor to each hand.
Finish both before you’re able to piss (your zipper is kinda difficult to work when both hands are strapped).
Great list, but you should add “The Alphabet Game”. Start with an Amber Bock or something made with Absolut and drink your way through to Z. I suggest writing them down on a bar napkin as you go because a round the lmnop stage, things start to get foggy. Plus, you may want to frame it to prove your accomplishment.
Brooke, I don’t like you and I bet you smell bad.
All good events, try double fisting a fifth of brown tequila and a fifth of clear tequila. Chase the brown with the clear until both are gone. Here about the stories late the next day.
This is only cool if you are under the age of 30.
Try to drink all of the taps at the Falling Rock Taphouse in Denver. Best selection on the planet, 72 beers. Undisputed champ. There’s a reason that the Great American Beer Festival is in Denver. Also, power hour rocks… 60 shots of beer in an hour. 100 seems impossible without cheating.
Wake up on the floor of a moving subway car during morning rush hour.
Drink a “papsmeir.” I had the honor of choking down this drink at a little bar outside of Pheonix. It was of the bartender’s own creation of course and involved a can of pabst mixed with as much wild turkey as would fill up the remainder of the glass. Which, when given a full sized pint glass, turns out to be way too much. You sit down sober, and then can’t get back up.
I agree with Todd. Everyone has to try a bar mat. My roomate was a bartender in old sacramento,ca. We would close the place. At the end of the evening he would pour about 4 shot glasses full of the overspill out of the mat. Talk about toasted. Every alcohol under the sun in one shot. HEAVEN.
I have to second the Centurion comments: 100 beer / 100 minutes, no pissing / puking. Its a fun night, not too hard and not too long.
The last time I did it though, we didn’t have shot glasses, we had some small sherry glasses that we thought were the same size. Turns out they were 2 ounces. I made it through 87 or something and couldn’t hold my piss. One of my buddies did 102 though, I couldn’t believe it.
Down a pint of beer mixed with tequila, vodka, chocolate liquer and canterbury cream.
Handle the curdling.
And I’ve done none of this. I’m starting today!
Well, I cover 9 of them weekly, guess I need to get to Germany to close out the list.
How much they have drunk and how big their dick is: 2 things men (particularly frat boys) have and always will exaggerate…
Someone beat me to Edward 40 hands….good call. I like keg races of any variety. 3 man weekend races, 8 person speed challenges. Either work well.
beer pong armageddon:
cover the entire table with cups and don’t stop until they’re gone
There’s no e in Whisky - “win yur talkin aboot Scotch, Laddie!” And there should be no ice - deadens the taste buds, same as cigars. Take your Scotch neat, with no more than 1/4 teaspoon of water dribbled in to break the surface tension and release the bouquet of the Whisky (or whiskey if you are drinking Irish malt).
Whisk(e)y is from the Gaelic for Water of Life. The Irish invented it, the Scots ran with it.
The barley malts are air-dried in Ireland, and dried over a peat fire in Scotland, giving Scotch that peaty taste Irish doesn’t have.
I did the case in a day one in 2 hours, god i love college.
@ Cam and Lee
I also go to Syracuse and love Faegans, I hate Chucks though, fucking sucks, Beer Tour at Faegans is the best!
Edward 40 hands tape 2 40 oz beers to your hands and you cant remove them until they are gone, have fun trying to take a piss.
For a whiskey to qualify as bourbon, the law–by international agreement–stipulates that it must be made in the USA. It must be made from at least 51% and no more than 79% Indian corn, and aged for at least two years. (Most bourbon is aged for four years or more.) The barrels for aging can be made of any kind of new oak, charred on the inside. Nowadays all distillers use American White Oak, because it is porous enough to help the bourbon age well, but not so porous that it will allow barrels to leak. It must be distilled at no more than 160 proof (80% alcohol by volume). Nothing can be added at bottling to enhance flavor or sweetness or alter color. The other grains used to make bourbon, though not stipulated by law, are malted barley and either rye or wheat. Some Kentucky bourbon makers claim that the same limestone spring water that makes thoroughbred horses’ bones strong gives bourbon whiskey its distinctive flavor.
I think one should be trying to drink through your eye…tried that on friday with vodka mixed with absenth…seperates the boys from the teens…
Bourbon county in Kentucky is a dry county, no alcohol allowed. Another funny note: Christian county is wet, allowing alcohol sales. Ironic.
Did a few of these bad boys over the years. I have a permanent carpet stain from one evening of stupidity.
1 case of 12 Horse Ale, 1 fifth of Jim Beam, peanut butter and M&M sandwich washed down with 1 fifth of “green” Creme de Menthe”.
try a yardie, a new zealand tradition. it’s a yard long glass, with a bulb at the end, with 3 litres of beer in it. in new zealand it’s done at guys 21st birthdays. anything longer than 2 min is deemed slow. for extra points, a shot of whiskey is dropped in it.
You’re missing the Cracky Sack!
It’s when you pour a beer down your back, through your crack, off your sack and into your shoe. Then you stand up and drink it.
Real men cracky!
If you get a dingleberry in process it’s then called a cracky snack.
http://www.thewhiskyguide.com
I have to agree with Robbo, throwing up in the bath should be on there, especially if you can do it half an hour before a friends wedding.
The feeling of being hungover in a hot bath with a scum of your own vomit floating like a stinky meniscus of filth, has to be experienced to be believed. Standing up through the scum, cleaning the bath covered in vomit before filling the thing again defines the word miserable. Wife nagging didn’t help either.
Do the round the taps without peeing AND drink the coke,lemonade and soda- mind numbingly, excruciating painful.
Before you start powering down, here are some effects of increased blood alcohol concentration on a typical person:
.08 - Definite impairment of muscle coordination; driving ability suspect; illegal in CA to drive with this or greater BAC
.10 - Clumsy; speech may be fuzzy; clear deterioration of reaction time and muscle control
.15 - Definite impairment of balance and movement; equivalent of half-pint of whiskey is in the bloodstream
.20 - Motor and emotional control centers measurably affected; slurred speech, staggering, loss of balance, and double vision can be present
.30 - Lack of understanding of what is seen or heard; individual is confused or stuporous; consciousness can be lost; individual passes out.
.40 - Usually unconscious; skin clammy
.45 - Respiration slows and can stop altogether
.50 - Death can result
Drinking games are irresponsible.
i’ve blown a .40 and i was just really trashed..
but i remember it
leave the forum
WTG LAUREN !!! way to ruin a good time all that math killing the buzz..
its all liquor who cares!!! I drank this I drank that… I did 8 jager bombs at home in an hour WTF was I thinking…..??!!!! umm yeah I don’t recommend eating handfuls of licorice and laying on the kitchen floor…..
NOT GOOD!!! makes the toilet look pretty
There is no difference between bourbon and whiskey.
although bourbon must be at least 51 percent corn mash and aged in new barrels, among other rules, it is STILL WHISKEY!
Just as Scotch is whiskey made in scotland, and irish whiskey is whiskey made in ireland, bourbon is whiskey made in tennessee, but it is still whiskey
Mat shot…..also known as the Jersey Turnpike
You should try a variation on a pub crawl called a “Sub crawl”
This is where you go the length (or one circle depending on the configuration) of a subway line, getting off at every stop to have a drink at the nearest bar.
Change the city and/or line to ramp up the difficulty if you’re hardcore.
the only one of these I haven’t done is the Octoberfest. One of these days . . . .
On my list is to buy a round for the house in a busy bar.
pull down you pants to fart except accidenlty shit all over the floor like a true drunk
Okay I’m an Irish 19 year old cocktail barman. I’ve worked the industry for 4 years now. I know an awful lot about booze but the one rule I always keep to is never state anything unless you know for sure you are perfectly correct…. Anyways I don’t know why ye’re all arguing….. If you’re on this site then ye all love booze too so get the fuck over yourselves and go and have a drink……
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