Once out from the oppressive administration at colleges and universities, those partaking in somewhat organized co-ed sports leagues are forced to come up with their own creative and usually offensive or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their 
boyfriends are making them do it. Guys love the competitiveness no matter how drunk much the other team doesn’t care and it’s also their last hope at getting discovered for the MLB/NFL/NBA/PBA/MLS.
Gone are the simple team names from your adolescence, like “Wildcats,” “Bears,” “[Local Professional Sports Team Name],” and “Yankees.” Balls, poles, bases, bats, runs, and scoring, are turned into euphemisms for male genitalia, male genitalia, female genitalia, male genitalia, fecal matter, and mom jokes. Put a couple of these together and you have yourself a pretty clever team name.
TastyBooze staff members have played in numerous co-ed sports leagues (current team is Wu-Tang themed, Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck wit!) and we’ve come up with our list of favorite team names below.
25 – I Scored With Your Mom (Baseball/Softball)
24 – Freebasers (Baseball/Softball)
23 - Back Dat Pass Up (Football/Soccer)
22 – Multiple Scorgasm (Any Sport)
21 – Triple Penetration (Bowling)
20 – Masterbatters (Baseball/Softball)
19 – Suck My Kick (Kickball/Soccer)
18 – Long Poles and Deep Holes (Golf)
17 – 2 Balls 1 Cup (Golf)
16 – Kick Tease (Kickball/Soccer)
15 - Bowl Job (Bowling)
14 – In One Ear And Out Your Mother (Any Sport)
13 – The Run Guzzlers (Baseball/Softball)
12 – We Got the Runs (Baseball/Softball)
11 – I’d Hit It (Any Sport)
10 – The FOREskins (Golf)
9 – 2 Fingers 1 Thumb (Bowling)
8 – My Dixie Wrecked / My Dixie Normous (Any Sport)
7 – Booze on First (Baseball/Softball)
6 – Premature Shooters (Basketball)
5 – Superman Dat Throw (Anything with throwing involved)
4 – We Like Balls Flying at Our Heads (Anything with balls)
3 – Where My Pitches At? (Baseball/Softball)
2 – Our Lesbians Are Better Than Yours (Any Sport)
1 – Touchdown My Pants (Football)
If you’ve got better ones - funnier, dirtier, more creative - we would love to see them in the comments, since we’re going to need new names for the summer season soon!
92 responses so far ↓
1 Frank // Jun 26, 2008 at 11:41 am
Balls Deep!
2 Hank // Jun 26, 2008 at 11:54 am
Split Lickers (bowling)
3 Wikipedia // Jun 26, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Mind In The Gutter (Bowling)
4 John // Jun 26, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Our name in college for Intra. softball - sexual names were not allowed but no one knew what this meant — we did though –
The Cleveland Steamers (if you don’t know look it up)
5 fuck a truck // Jun 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Boot Pirates!
6 Erik // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Our team is the Killer Nutz here in SF for WAKA.
We took 2nd in the tournament the other week.
We shot a video from the tournament too.
Check it out
http://www.metrowize.com/articles/kickball-kicks-ass
7 Aaron // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Off In The Shower (anything)
(you can’t beat…)
8 Ruddiger Van Der Hoosen // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Our high school team was the ‘Nads. So the fans could yell “Go Nads, Go”
9 Dan // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Off Constantly. Even if the other teams win you can still make fun of them because they beat Off Constantly.
10 Mike // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Played for a frisbee team in college:
“Danny Glover’s Illegitimate Child”
11 Ben // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:56 pm
UVSC intramurals (utah valley) our soccer team was the GOALNADS
12 Tommy // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:58 pm
BallsDeep!
13 Drew // Jun 26, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Our Bible themed softball team at Erskine College was “The Greatest Softball Team Ever Told”
14 Mike // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Our Ultimate team at UWO was called “Firckin’ Hammered” .. no sexual names, no alcohol names were aloud but it’s “just two types of throws” and they couldn’t say much more.
15 Nico // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Merkins.
16 Paul // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:04 pm
“No Game This Week”….a classic that the rubes fall for every time
17 Mike // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:05 pm
you had a bible themed softball team….?
18 unky duck // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:05 pm
“Tits Ahoy”
19 ETOX // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Chainsaw Gorillas
20 johnny danger // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:06 pm
couger bait, lookin to score, your mom’s favorite team
21 wake213 // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Swollen Clints
22 class // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:14 pm
2 girls 1 puck (broomball or hockey)
23 Nick Hodges // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I heard of a debate team called the “Cunning Linguists”.
24 The Blumpkin King // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Blumpkin FC! (Soccer)
25 Teague B Mole (UNC 87) // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Vaginal Blood Farts (VBFs)
26 nesta // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:26 pm
In my old neighborhood there was a basketball team named the “Punk Chew Asians”. Instead of numbers on their backs, they had punctuation marks. I thought that was pretty clever until I just read about the “Cunning Linguists”.
27 Klepto // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:28 pm
We were the Beavers, with pink shirts in softball
28 Wes // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Show Us Your TDs (Football)
29 John // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:30 pm
cunning linguists are a hip hop group. And debate is not an intramural sport.
NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!
30 Matt // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Eaton Pussies, named by intramural teams from Eaton Hall, one of the rez halls on campus.
31 Ian // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Ultimate Frisbee:
Flick harder!
You can touch my disc
32 Chrii // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:51 pm
The Ball Heirs (Basketball)
33 UNCA Ultimate Frisbee // Jun 26, 2008 at 4:52 pm
The Flying Snatch…Is actually UNCA’s Ultimate Frisbee club name
34 Ol Dirty Curty // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Is Jamie posting all of these frisbee names?
Bukaki Sunami (Swimming) Also Frank the Tank’s nickname when he wore a speedo in high school
35 VanG // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:13 pm
At LSU in the 80’s, our intramural softball dorm team was named after the head Resident Assistant. His name was Buster. …So, of course, we were named Buster’s Hymen.
36 Trent // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Sorry this is more case specific, but we play coed softball in the Bay Area Sports and Social club (BASS) league so many incoporate BASS in to the name somehow. Ours was Basstroglyde.
37 Fagundes // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:23 pm
And ours was “Back that BASS Up”
38 dzhastin // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:30 pm
“Six balls and a gutter”
Bowling league team with 3 guys and 1 gal
39 John_Pox // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I didn’t know they had intramural sports for 6th graders. But apparently they mnust because anyone over the age of 12 grows out of giggling abut sex words
40 jasem // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:40 pm
for our IM football team we were “but secs” (say it out loud)
41 DP // Jun 26, 2008 at 5:43 pm
“Balls Deep” (any sport)
42 jer // Jun 26, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Mangina
43 Califun // Jun 26, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Basketball
The Dribbling Seamen
44 NEENOOO // Jun 26, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Spread Eagles for the win
45 Jake // Jun 26, 2008 at 6:48 pm
my friend played for an indoor soccer team called The Pink Socks. they just wore white t’s and pink socks
46 Booku // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Beer Clams!
47 Booku // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:04 pm
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=157463754
48 Clarkson // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Slap-A-Ho Nation
49 Vic // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:32 pm
The Cunning Linguists
50 maqikelefant // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Hate to tell everyone this, but Cunning Linguists is just a ripoff of a rap group called “CunninLynguists.” So anyone naming their team that isn’t really that original…
51 goolsbee // Jun 26, 2008 at 7:54 pm
My college intramural hockey team was named “Puckin’ Around”
–chuck
52 Bernard // Jun 26, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Deep Throwits (football)
53 mike // Jun 26, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Manson Family Singers
Gravity (you had to weigh over 200 lbs. to play)
54 bradp // Jun 26, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Blue Ballers (my ball hockey team)
55 TheDude // Jun 26, 2008 at 8:43 pm
cunning linguists…
deep purple lyrics - she was a common cunning linguist.
somewhat older than rap…by a decade or so.
56 nmsuaggie // Jun 26, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Had to do a dodgeball charity event for a sorority. I think we ripped it off from a band’s album title, but it was…
No Helmets. No Pads. Just Balls.
The girls were outraged we would go with something that had such a definite lack of taste. The next year that was the tagline of their event lol.
57 Me // Jun 26, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Lucky Pluckers (Hockey)
58 ray // Jun 26, 2008 at 10:59 pm
The Dude is right about cunning linguists from a Deep Purple song released in the 80’s.
59 Kevin // Jun 26, 2008 at 11:00 pm
My intramural teams in the 70’s consisted generally of stoners…two appropriate names we had were ‘The Sacrificial Lambs’ and ‘The Scapegoats’. And yes, way back then, I had a roommate with a t-shirt with something about being a cunning linguist. Maybe thats where the hip-hoppers got the idea for their name.
60 Nobody from Somewhere // Jun 27, 2008 at 12:51 am
I heard this one when I was at GVSU. My Dixon Cider
61 Fuzz // Jun 27, 2008 at 5:37 am
Untoucha-BALLS
62 mike // Jun 27, 2008 at 7:32 am
Your MOM!
63 Benne // Jun 27, 2008 at 8:28 am
Pinch Hitters - stoner team
64 Ricardo Figueiredo // Jun 27, 2008 at 9:36 am
Just the tip!
65 Joughmama // Jun 27, 2008 at 10:01 am
The best one I have seen was a beer pong team right after the Spitzer story broke, three guys on the team:
“Clients 10 through 12″
66 gibby // Jun 27, 2008 at 10:07 am
coed naked spear chuckers (coed intramural dart team)
67 pete // Jun 27, 2008 at 10:20 am
Coming from behind.
68 Jeff // Jun 27, 2008 at 10:42 am
Golden Showers (Basketball)
“Let it Rain”
69 wayne // Jun 27, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Our hockey team is called the leftovers, and we each name ourselves after a type of leftover using our names.
IE: “wong ton soup”, “mu chuh pork”, “egg foo yong” “pad thai”
70 mike4ro // Jun 27, 2008 at 6:11 pm
We have the Red ForeSkins in our football league….but that’s sort of taken already. We call their fantasy stadium CirCum Stadium.
71 Ryan // Jul 7, 2008 at 8:25 am
In my summer hockey league we have the Rawdogs.
72 Yup // Jul 7, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Sofa King Cool!!!
73 Ross // Jul 9, 2008 at 10:35 am
35 years ago at the University of Washington, I played against a group of Astronomy majors whose team name was “Up Uranus”
74 Liban // Jul 9, 2008 at 10:43 am
our touch football team name is the CUSTARDCHUCKERZ
75 alex // Jul 9, 2008 at 10:57 am
Michael Vick’s Dogs (football)
76 JJ // Jul 9, 2008 at 11:24 am
Ribbed Toyz
77 BS // Jul 9, 2008 at 11:48 am
I was a geography major in college and our IM team name was Spatial ED.
78 mike // Jul 9, 2008 at 12:07 pm
softball team at Rutgers..
The Pink Tacos!
79 jason // Jul 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm
BOWL MOVEMENTS
80 Kahuna // Jul 9, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Hoof Hearted?
81 John // Jul 9, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Intramural basketball: “The Wet Dream Team”
82 Fuzzy // Jul 10, 2008 at 5:14 am
Sam Houston States rugby team is known as the SPERMS
Bowling team-”With Ourselves” as in we’re playing …
83 Lenny // Jul 10, 2008 at 7:58 am
Our softball team was called “Almost Sober”…an apt reference to our state of being for all the games.
84 Brandon // Jul 10, 2008 at 8:18 am
Our intramural team was always “The Pen is Mightier” The space between “Pen” and “is” was as small as possible.
85 Jeff // Jul 10, 2008 at 9:11 am
In college at KU we were sponsored by Linda’s Liquor. The slogan on the back was “Liquor where she likes it”.
86 Miss the Mark // Jul 10, 2008 at 9:44 am
Myasis Dragon - say it quickly. Works for any sport…particularly those played after work.
87 dewey1973 // Aug 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm
The rock radio station here has a softball team called the Foul Balls.
88 joe // Aug 22, 2008 at 7:24 am
show me your TDs (football)
89 Casey // Sep 26, 2008 at 10:54 am
For Co-ed, You have to go with Half Nuts, since half the team has nuts
90 the other casey // Sep 28, 2008 at 9:45 pm
ncredible
hubic pairs
real men of genius….
91 Carlos // Oct 3, 2008 at 1:28 am
Our Coed Softball team is called “Field These Balls” top that BITCHES!
92 someone // Oct 5, 2008 at 11:06 am
my dads team was the donkey slammers when he was in college
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