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Top Co-Ed Sports Team Names

by Baba Ganoush on June 26, 2008

Once out from the oppressive administration at colleges and universities, those partaking in somewhat organized co-ed sports leagues are forced to come up with their own creative and usually offensive or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their boyfriends are making them do it. Guys love the competitiveness no matter how drunk much the other team doesn’t care and it’s also their last hope at getting discovered for the MLB/NFL/NBA/PBA/MLS.

Gone are the simple team names from your adolescence, like “Wildcats,” “Bears,” “[Local Professional Sports Team Name],” and “Yankees.” Balls, poles, bases, bats, runs, and scoring, are turned into euphemisms for male genitalia, male genitalia, female genitalia, male genitalia, fecal matter, and mom jokes. Put a couple of these together and you have yourself a pretty clever team name.

TastyBooze staff members have played in numerous co-ed sports leagues (current team is Wu-Tang themed, Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck wit!) and we’ve come up with our list of favorite team names below.

25 – I Scored With Your Mom (Baseball/Softball)
24 – Freebasers (Baseball/Softball)
23 - Back Dat Pass Up (Football/Soccer)
22 – Multiple Scorgasm (Any Sport)
21 – Triple Penetration (Bowling)
20 – Masterbatters (Baseball/Softball)
19 – Suck My Kick (Kickball/Soccer)
18 – Long Poles and Deep Holes (Golf)
17 – 2 Balls 1 Cup (Golf)
16 – Kick Tease (Kickball/Soccer)

15 - Bowl Job (Bowling)
14 – In One Ear And Out Your Mother (Any Sport)
13 – The Run Guzzlers (Baseball/Softball)
12 – We Got the Runs (Baseball/Softball)
11 – I’d Hit It (Any Sport)
10 – The FOREskins (Golf)
9 – 2 Fingers 1 Thumb (Bowling)
8 – My Dixie Wrecked / My Dixie Normous (Any Sport)
7 – Booze on First (Baseball/Softball)
6 – Premature Shooters (Basketball)
5 – Superman Dat Throw (Anything with throwing involved)
4 – We Like Balls Flying at Our Heads (Anything with balls)
3 – Where My Pitches At? (Baseball/Softball)
2 – Our Lesbians Are Better Than Yours (Any Sport)
1 – Touchdown My Pants (Football)

If you’ve got better ones - funnier, dirtier, more creative - we would love to see them in the comments, since we’re going to need new names for the summer season soon!

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  • GDub
    In broomball my team was the Box Stuffers, you know, because we were ahead...and played heavy defense. Works for broomball, hockey, or soccer really.
  • Fuzzy
    Sam Houston States rugby team is known as the SPERMS

    Bowling team-"With Ourselves" as in we're playing ...
  • jason
    BOWL MOVEMENTS
  • dzhastin
    "Six balls and a gutter"
    Bowling league team with 3 guys and 1 gal
  • Ruddiger Van Der Hoosen
    Our high school team was the 'Nads. So the fans could yell "Go Nads, Go"
  • Dan
    Off Constantly. Even if the other teams win you can still make fun of them because they beat Off Constantly.
  • Mike
    Our Ultimate team at UWO was called "Firckin' Hammered" .. no sexual names, no alcohol names were aloud but it's "just two types of throws" and they couldn't say much more.
  • class
    2 girls 1 puck (broomball or hockey)
  • fuck a truck
    Boot Pirates!
  • Frank
    Balls Deep!
  • Hank
    Split Lickers (bowling)
  • Mind In The Gutter (Bowling)
  • Our name in college for Intra. softball - sexual names were not allowed but no one knew what this meant -- we did though --
    The Cleveland Steamers (if you don't know look it up)
  • Our team is the Killer Nutz here in SF for WAKA.
    We took 2nd in the tournament the other week.
    We shot a video from the tournament too.
    Check it out
    http://www.metrowize.com/articles/kickball-kick...
  • Aaron
    Off In The Shower (anything)
    (you can't beat...)
  • Played for a frisbee team in college:

    "Danny Glover's Illegitimate Child"
  • Ben
    UVSC intramurals (utah valley) our soccer team was the GOALNADS
  • Tommy
    BallsDeep!
  • Drew
    Our Bible themed softball team at Erskine College was "The Greatest Softball Team Ever Told"
  • Merkins.
  • Paul
    "No Game This Week"....a classic that the rubes fall for every time
  • you had a bible themed softball team....?
  • unky duck
    "Tits Ahoy"
  • ETOX
    Chainsaw Gorillas
  • johnny danger
    couger bait, lookin to score, your mom's favorite team
  • wake213
    Swollen Clints
  • Nick Hodges
    I heard of a debate team called the "Cunning Linguists".
  • The Blumpkin King
    Blumpkin FC! (Soccer)
  • Teague B Mole (UNC 87)
    Vaginal Blood Farts (VBFs)
  • nesta
    In my old neighborhood there was a basketball team named the "Punk Chew Asians". Instead of numbers on their backs, they had punctuation marks. I thought that was pretty clever until I just read about the "Cunning Linguists".
  • We were the Beavers, with pink shirts in softball
  • Wes
    Show Us Your TDs (Football)
  • John
    cunning linguists are a hip hop group. And debate is not an intramural sport.

    NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!
  • Matt
    Eaton Pussies, named by intramural teams from Eaton Hall, one of the rez halls on campus.
  • Ian
    Ultimate Frisbee:

    Flick harder!
    You can touch my disc
  • Chrii
    The Ball Heirs (Basketball)
  • UNCA Ultimate Frisbee
    The Flying Snatch...Is actually UNCA's Ultimate Frisbee club name
  • Is Jamie posting all of these frisbee names?

    Bukaki Sunami (Swimming) Also Frank the Tank's nickname when he wore a speedo in high school
  • VanG
    At LSU in the 80's, our intramural softball dorm team was named after the head Resident Assistant. His name was Buster. ...So, of course, we were named Buster's Hymen.
  • Trent
    Sorry this is more case specific, but we play coed softball in the Bay Area Sports and Social club (BASS) league so many incoporate BASS in to the name somehow. Ours was Basstroglyde.
  • Fagundes
    And ours was "Back that BASS Up"
  • I didn't know they had intramural sports for 6th graders. But apparently they mnust because anyone over the age of 12 grows out of giggling abut sex words
  • jasem
    for our IM football team we were "but secs" (say it out loud)
  • DP
    "Balls Deep" (any sport)
  • jer
    Mangina
  • Califun
    Basketball

    The Dribbling Seamen
  • NEENOOO
    Spread Eagles for the win
  • Jake
    my friend played for an indoor soccer team called The Pink Socks. they just wore white t's and pink socks
  • Beer Clams!
  • Slap-A-Ho Nation
  • Vic
    The Cunning Linguists
  • maqikelefant
    Hate to tell everyone this, but Cunning Linguists is just a ripoff of a rap group called "CunninLynguists." So anyone naming their team that isn't really that original...
  • goolsbee
    My college intramural hockey team was named "Puckin' Around"

    --chuck
  • Bernard
    Deep Throwits (football)
  • Manson Family Singers

    Gravity (you had to weigh over 200 lbs. to play)
  • Blue Ballers (my ball hockey team)
  • TheDude
    cunning linguists...

    deep purple lyrics - she was a common cunning linguist.

    somewhat older than rap...by a decade or so.
  • nmsuaggie
    Had to do a dodgeball charity event for a sorority. I think we ripped it off from a band's album title, but it was...
    No Helmets. No Pads. Just Balls.
    The girls were outraged we would go with something that had such a definite lack of taste. The next year that was the tagline of their event lol.
  • Me
    Lucky Pluckers (Hockey)
  • ray
    The Dude is right about cunning linguists from a Deep Purple song released in the 80's.
  • Kevin
    My intramural teams in the 70's consisted generally of stoners...two appropriate names we had were 'The Sacrificial Lambs' and 'The Scapegoats'. And yes, way back then, I had a roommate with a t-shirt with something about being a cunning linguist. Maybe thats where the hip-hoppers got the idea for their name.
  • Nobody from Somewhere
    I heard this one when I was at GVSU. My Dixon Cider
  • Fuzz
    Untoucha-BALLS
  • mike
    Your MOM!
  • Benne
    Pinch Hitters - stoner team
  • Just the tip! :)
  • Joughmama
    The best one I have seen was a beer pong team right after the Spitzer story broke, three guys on the team:

    "Clients 10 through 12"
  • gibby
    coed naked spear chuckers (coed intramural dart team)
  • pete
    Coming from behind.
  • Jeff
    Golden Showers (Basketball)

    "Let it Rain"
  • wayne
    Our hockey team is called the leftovers, and we each name ourselves after a type of leftover using our names.

    IE: "wong ton soup", "mu chuh pork", "egg foo yong" "pad thai"
  • mike4ro
    We have the Red ForeSkins in our football league....but that's sort of taken already. We call their fantasy stadium CirCum Stadium.
  • Ryan
    In my summer hockey league we have the Rawdogs.
  • Yup
    Sofa King Cool!!!
  • Ross
    35 years ago at the University of Washington, I played against a group of Astronomy majors whose team name was "Up Uranus"
  • Liban
    our touch football team name is the CUSTARDCHUCKERZ
  • alex
    Michael Vick's Dogs (football)
  • JJ
    Ribbed Toyz
  • BS
    I was a geography major in college and our IM team name was Spatial ED.
  • mike
    softball team at Rutgers..
    The Pink Tacos!
  • Kahuna
    Hoof Hearted?
  • John
    Intramural basketball: "The Wet Dream Team"
  • Lenny
    Our softball team was called "Almost Sober"...an apt reference to our state of being for all the games.
  • Brandon
    Our intramural team was always "The Pen is Mightier" The space between "Pen" and "is" was as small as possible.
  • Jeff
    In college at KU we were sponsored by Linda's Liquor. The slogan on the back was "Liquor where she likes it".
  • Miss the Mark
    Myasis Dragon - say it quickly. Works for any sport...particularly those played after work.
  • dewey1973
    The rock radio station here has a softball team called the Foul Balls.
  • joe
    show me your TDs (football)
  • Casey
    For Co-ed, You have to go with Half Nuts, since half the team has nuts
  • the other casey
    ncredible
    hubic pairs
    real men of genius....
  • Our Coed Softball team is called "Field These Balls" top that BITCHES!
  • someone
    my dads team was the donkey slammers when he was in college
  • partybob
    my buddy was on a soccer team once called the Mucha Leche Allstars.
  • blah
    About to score (Any sport). This works especially well if there are multiple teams in an arena and someone is looking for your team, they will yell "who is About to Score?"
  • Coup
    The Super Heroes In Training (The S.H.I.T.)
  • MVP
    Chick 'n' Nuggets
  • slowkid
    half cocked
  • JASON
    THE MIGHTY SPHINCTERS
  • Arnie
    I have came up with a new softball team name for our team the past two years for tournaments. "Punching Judies" and my favorite " The Waylin' Jennings."
  • JayMo
    Rollin' Balls

    (Bowling)
  • Big Al
    B.O.H.I.C.A. Bend Over Here It Comes Again
  • Big Al
    For softball: B.T.F.U. Back The Fuck Up
  • JB
    Moose Knuckleballers
  • CG
    My college mascot was a Tiger. We started a student frisbee organization called Tiger Ultimate Frisbee. The team name became T.U.F. Mother Huckers.
  • Erica
    I was the captain of "Nice Snatch!" this summer (coed softball). It was even funnier that it was co-ed, I was fondly known as Captain Snatch. I even had jersey's made - everyone always asked to take pictures.

    Also, "My Couch Pulls Out, but I Don't" is always a winner.
  • Ad
    For co-ed, "Here for the gang bang" is the best.
  • M J R
    Bowling:

    the bowling stones
  • Matt
    Hotdogs and Tacos
  • lowonbeers
    lowonbeers
    thugs and juggs
    H & H = his and hers
    SWAT- softball with attitude
  • Jerry
    Snatch N Balls (co-ed softball)
  • kingaegean
    Best intramural "volleyball" team that I've been in so far is "How I Set Your Mother"
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