Once out from the oppressive administration at colleges and universities, those partaking in somewhat organized co-ed sports leagues are forced to come up with their own creative and usually offensive or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their 
boyfriends are making them do it. Guys love the competitiveness no matter how drunk much the other team doesn’t care and it’s also their last hope at getting discovered for the MLB/NFL/NBA/PBA/MLS.
Gone are the simple team names from your adolescence, like “Wildcats,” “Bears,” “[Local Professional Sports Team Name],” and “Yankees.” Balls, poles, bases, bats, runs, and scoring, are turned into euphemisms for male genitalia, male genitalia, female genitalia, male genitalia, fecal matter, and mom jokes. Put a couple of these together and you have yourself a pretty clever team name.
TastyBooze staff members have played in numerous co-ed sports leagues (current team is Wu-Tang themed, Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck wit!) and we’ve come up with our list of favorite team names below.
25 – I Scored With Your Mom (Baseball/Softball)
24 – Freebasers (Baseball/Softball)
23 - Back Dat Pass Up (Football/Soccer)
22 – Multiple Scorgasm (Any Sport)
21 – Triple Penetration (Bowling)
20 – Masterbatters (Baseball/Softball)
19 – Suck My Kick (Kickball/Soccer)
18 – Long Poles and Deep Holes (Golf)
17 – 2 Balls 1 Cup (Golf)
16 – Kick Tease (Kickball/Soccer)
15 - Bowl Job (Bowling)
14 – In One Ear And Out Your Mother (Any Sport)
13 – The Run Guzzlers (Baseball/Softball)
12 – We Got the Runs (Baseball/Softball)
11 – I’d Hit It (Any Sport)
10 – The FOREskins (Golf)
9 – 2 Fingers 1 Thumb (Bowling)
8 – My Dixie Wrecked / My Dixie Normous (Any Sport)
7 – Booze on First (Baseball/Softball)
6 – Premature Shooters (Basketball)
5 – Superman Dat Throw (Anything with throwing involved)
4 – We Like Balls Flying at Our Heads (Anything with balls)
3 – Where My Pitches At? (Baseball/Softball)
2 – Our Lesbians Are Better Than Yours (Any Sport)
1 – Touchdown My Pants (Football)
If you’ve got better ones - funnier, dirtier, more creative - we would love to see them in the comments, since we’re going to need new names for the summer season soon!
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My college intramural hockey team was named “Puckin’ Around”
–chuck
Deep Throwits (football)
Manson Family Singers
Gravity (you had to weigh over 200 lbs. to play)
Blue Ballers (my ball hockey team)
cunning linguists…
deep purple lyrics - she was a common cunning linguist.
somewhat older than rap…by a decade or so.
Had to do a dodgeball charity event for a sorority. I think we ripped it off from a band’s album title, but it was…
No Helmets. No Pads. Just Balls.
The girls were outraged we would go with something that had such a definite lack of taste. The next year that was the tagline of their event lol.
Lucky Pluckers (Hockey)
The Dude is right about cunning linguists from a Deep Purple song released in the 80’s.
My intramural teams in the 70’s consisted generally of stoners…two appropriate names we had were ‘The Sacrificial Lambs’ and ‘The Scapegoats’. And yes, way back then, I had a roommate with a t-shirt with something about being a cunning linguist. Maybe thats where the hip-hoppers got the idea for their name.
I heard this one when I was at GVSU. My Dixon Cider
Untoucha-BALLS
Your MOM!
Pinch Hitters - stoner team
Just the tip!
The best one I have seen was a beer pong team right after the Spitzer story broke, three guys on the team:
“Clients 10 through 12″
coed naked spear chuckers (coed intramural dart team)
Coming from behind.
Golden Showers (Basketball)
“Let it Rain”
Our hockey team is called the leftovers, and we each name ourselves after a type of leftover using our names.
IE: “wong ton soup”, “mu chuh pork”, “egg foo yong” “pad thai”
We have the Red ForeSkins in our football league….but that’s sort of taken already. We call their fantasy stadium CirCum Stadium.
In my summer hockey league we have the Rawdogs.
Sofa King Cool!!!
35 years ago at the University of Washington, I played against a group of Astronomy majors whose team name was “Up Uranus”
our touch football team name is the CUSTARDCHUCKERZ
Michael Vick’s Dogs (football)
Ribbed Toyz
I was a geography major in college and our IM team name was Spatial ED.
softball team at Rutgers..
The Pink Tacos!
BOWL MOVEMENTS
Hoof Hearted?
Intramural basketball: “The Wet Dream Team”
Sam Houston States rugby team is known as the SPERMS
Bowling team-”With Ourselves” as in we’re playing …
Our softball team was called “Almost Sober”…an apt reference to our state of being for all the games.
Our intramural team was always “The Pen is Mightier” The space between “Pen” and “is” was as small as possible.
In college at KU we were sponsored by Linda’s Liquor. The slogan on the back was “Liquor where she likes it”.
Myasis Dragon - say it quickly. Works for any sport…particularly those played after work.
The rock radio station here has a softball team called the Foul Balls.
show me your TDs (football)
For Co-ed, You have to go with Half Nuts, since half the team has nuts
ncredible
hubic pairs
real men of genius….
Our Coed Softball team is called “Field These Balls” top that BITCHES!
my dads team was the donkey slammers when he was in college
my buddy was on a soccer team once called the Mucha Leche Allstars.
About to score (Any sport). This works especially well if there are multiple teams in an arena and someone is looking for your team, they will yell “who is About to Score?”
The Super Heroes In Training (The S.H.I.T.)
Chick ‘n’ Nuggets
half cocked
THE MIGHTY SPHINCTERS
I have came up with a new softball team name for our team the past two years for tournaments. “Punching Judies” and my favorite ” The Waylin’ Jennings.”
Rollin’ Balls
(Bowling)
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