If you’ve always really wanted a drug habit but don’t have the balls to actually start one then Meth Coffee might be right up your alley. Much like Blow the energy drink Meth Coffee really has nothing to do with actual meth other than a catchy name. The only similarity that Meth Coffee has with real meth is the pricing scheme. A 10 oz bag of Meth Coffee will set you back $12 before shipping. Shit, I can burn through 10 oz of beans in a week. If this stuff is that good you could develop a spendy habit.
Meth Coffee—the original medicinal coffee ratio for gyrotonic stimulation. Agitates! Lifts! Enlightens! Motivates bowels! Don’t accept copied or tainted elixirs! They’re out there! Listen here, friend, I can sell you ten ounces, but I am warning you, this is powerful shit. If you’re just trying it for the first time, don’t throw back five cups like regular coffee. Ease into it. Have a little. Feel the rush, the euphoria, the smooth-edged high. Then go for more, if you want. Yeah, get into it. Make a dance up…program in assembly language…write your first novel…plot to overrule the planet. I’m telling you, this shit will nail your ass down like the sole of a boot!
Sounds like this shit is straight yellow caps. Of course you can’t name your product after a hard drug and not catch some flack. The same Illinois Attorney General that got Blow yanked from the market now has her sites set on Meth Coffee.
All you Marty McFly wannabes, strap on your Air McFlys, grab your hoverboard, jump in your big ass Delorean and gun it to 88. If we only had a flux capacitor our childhood dreams would be complete. I guarantee this guy has all the goods.
Today in the links we have some ghetto grandparents, fake vs. real Craigslist casual encounters ads, a future long jumper has an epic fail and the hottest female fighters.
Snickers needs to take their own advice and get some nuts. The company pulled a commercial featuring Mr. T due to some complaints that the advertisement was “homophobic.” The TV spot that only aired in the UK features Mr. T taunting a speed-walker as he pulls up beside him in a Snickers combat truck and yells, “Speed walking. I pity you fool. You are a disgrace to the man race. It’s time to run like a real man.”
The commercial ends with the logo and tagline of, “Snickers: Get Some Nuts.” You can check out the whole campaign at their Web site: GetSomeNuts.TV
Here’s the commercial, so you can be the judge of its homophobia.
I like where this is going. But clearly we have strayed from the penis jokes for too long. So here we go. Remember to vote and comment if you have any clarification questions.
“Would you rather go without sex for an entire year or go without tending (shaving/trimming/plucking) any of the hair on your body for an entire year?”
Mitch Martin: “Are we talking just sex sex, or all hooking up activities?” J Diggles: “Just sex sex.”
Baba Ganoush: “Can you just seep yourself in Nair and do away with it all?” J Diggles: “Don’t try to cheat me. No.”
Mr Wonka: “Can you shave everything completely before day one?” J Diggles: “Sure.”
“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”
I know it’s a gut buster. Go ahead and take a second I can wait…………………….whew…I had to find some kleenex to dry the tears. That doozy is considered the oldest recorded joke in the world and it was dropped by some clever Sumerian sometime around 1900 B.C. Actually in all seriousness I think the best part about that joke is that what was true almost 4,000 years ago is still true today, the ladies don’t like breaking wind.
The University of Wolverhampton has put together a top 10 list of the oldest jokes in the world. If you thought number one was good take a gander at number two.
“How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.”
Brilliant! Hit the link to check out the full top 10 list.
One guy has 10 pounds of pot, 2 cannabis plants, a .22 rifle, 2 drug pipes, he is filming himself rubbing one out while speeding at 94 MPH and it’s called…..The Aristocrats!
At the very least Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39 is one hell of a muli-tasker. My favorite part is the Erhardt told the cops he found the drugs at a rest stop and he was planning on taking them home and smoking all 10 pounds himself. Considering all the ridiculous situation he was in that might not be too far from the truth. The genius also later admitted to cops he had been using the rifle to shoot at kangaroos while he was driving. So it sounds like he got bored with one gun and moved on to another.
No internet-photoshop-tomfoolery here that is Jamison Stone standing with the 1,000-pound wild hog that he dropped last year in Alabama. Good Christ, that thing looks like it could eat an 11 year old kid. Of course Jamison hasn’t exactly been able to enjoy his prize kill. Some ass-clown animal rights activist in New York is claiming Jameson should be prosecuted for animal cruelty because it took nine shots to kill the hog. It’s a 1000-pound-fucking-wild-boar how many shots do you think it is going to take to kill it? Sure they might be in Alabama but they at least have enough sense not to give an 11 year old a fucking elephant gun (most of the time).
“You should see some of the emails and hear some of the calls we have received,” Jamison’s father said. “They are explicit. They tell how they are going to kill my son, like cutting his head off.
What kind of a person threatens the life of a kid over an animal? The kind of person that needs to climb down out of their sad little “I heart animals” tower and step back into reality, that’s who.
There is nothing like Saved By The Bell and therefore nothing like Mr. Belding. So when he is caught dancing with a bunch of hot chicks, it’s time to take notice. Maybe these girls are in detention?
I’m all for safe driving, and I really appreciate the air bags in my Subaru. If you have an older car that didn’t come with air bags, you might want to invest in some personal air bags like the young lady here.
We have added some new additions to the afternoon links so be sure to hit the jump to catch the full list. Today runaway jeans cause a car accident, apparently there are differences between Brady Quinn and horse balls, the Earth is a speck of dust and an NYPD cop drops a bicyclist.
I guess this is just one of those things that you want to think is a good idea, but you really know that it’s not a good idea (I can hear my grandpa talking in my ear, “common sense, common sense”).
The masses have spoken, and I think they hit it on the head this time. 65% of you would rather have to go on all future first dates with your 8th grade hair than your 8th grade clothing. 8th grade was a while ago for me, but I dont really think my hair has changed all that much. But THANK GOD I am no longer wearing white jeans, Cross Colours and overall shorts with one strap.
For Guys:
Let’s face it. Guys go bald. No matter how bad your hair was in 8th grade, I suspect most would rather have it than no hair. Or at least that’s what Wonka told me. And on top of that, a majority of guys didn’t really know what they were doing with their clothes in 8th grade. Hence the overall shorts with one strap I referred to earlier. And did I mention they were some sort of extra special stone wash? Not that I don’t appreciate Ross Dress For Less, but that was my mom’s choice shopping location for my duds back in the day. I’ll take the hair, even if I did sport the Vanilla Ice lines on the side for a time….
For Girls:
I don’t really know is the honest answer. But I did got an inside tip from a lady that a girls hair back in the day was a scary, scary thing. And no matter how bad the clothes are, they weren’t as bad. But with girls, they can get away with anything if they are hot. A guy might laugh at them a bit after the first date is over, but regardless of hair or clothes, if she’s hot he will call.
But since I am writing this, I win. And the hair wins. Ice Ice Baby.
Our buddies over at 40cozy.com have developed their own little slice of iPhone App Store genius. Their app called pour1out! lets you use your iPhone to pour out a little malt liquor for your homies. Now you are probably saying big deal I have already invested in iBeer which makes my whole screen look like a mug of beer. Well here is where pour1out! kicks the shit out of iBeer. With the touch of a single button pour1out! will find the nearest liquor store to your location. That’s right, this isn’t just some gag beer-pouring-iPhone-bullshit, this app actually has some functionality.
Check out the demo and head over to 40cozy.com to pick up pour1out! and a 40 cozy to keep that malt liquor cool once you make it back from the liquor store.
On the left we have Emma Spellar Miss Great Britian 2004 who is now making her living as a model. On the right we have Petra Nemcova who I am pretty sure is a supermodel. Petra is also the badass chick that survived the 2004 tsunami by hanging onto the top of a palm tree.
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