Yeah funny, I get it, you have a “Labor Day” ad and the lady in the picture is pregnant. That’s cute. Just a quick tip, maybe next time you decide to use a pregnant woman in your ad maybe you don’t put a champagne flute her hand. I’m all for every one having a good time but I just don’t think encouraging drinking during pregnancy is the message you want to send.

Cincinnati.com via The Consumerist

Today in the links a little girl assembles a rifle, three exercise products guaranteed to make you fat, the 14 most WTF pictures from the democratic convention and a kid falls out of the stands trying to catch a BP ball.

• Girl Assembles Rifle (Video)
• Elisabetta Gregoraci shows us her moneymaker (Pics)
• Raw Video Of Jose Guillen Wanting To Kick KC Ass (Video)
• Dear Illuminati (Advice)
• Whatever Happened To Arsenio Hall? (Celeb)
• Kid Falls Out Of Stands Trying To Catch Batting Practice Ball (Video)
• Click Clack, Bitches (Sports)
• Video Vault: YouTube in 1985 (Video)
• Michael Phelps Follows in Shy LaBoof’s Footsteps, Hosts SNL (Celeb)
• Hurricane Watch: Hanna vs Gustav (Pics)

[Read more →]

This one has been around quite a bit lately, but I had to post it. This looks like it would be a ton of fun (on a straight road). Too bad the driver was trying to give him a tough ride.

The second biggest concern on any true college football fan’s mind (the first being their team) is how they are going to get booze into the game. Back in college my friends and I dubbed this inside-the-game booze a game-ball and the term has stuck. It used to be that you could just poor your game-ball into any old metal flask, slide it into the waist band of your pants and then breeze past security. But in the this day and age of pat downs by questionable secuirty staff and even the metal detector wand it is harder than ever to get inside with your standby metal golf flask. Some folks like to stock up with the plastic airplane shooter bottles which duck the metal detector but they stick out like a sore thumb at pat down time.

That’s were the flexible plastic rum runner flask steps in. They should really just call this thing the game-ball flask. It’s pure genius. The flasks are made of flexible plastic so even when full if they are stuffed in your coat pocket no pat down expert is going to be able to tell the difference between the flask and your bulky winter coat. The $10.95 set comes with one big daddy 16oz flask and two smaller 8 oz flasks. So between yourself and two friends you should have no problem keeping your buzz rolling all game long.

Rum Runner Product Page

Why would I do that?
Duct tape 40’s to my hands?
Then I can’t slap you

To see more Booze Haikus, click here.

If you’re looking to hunt some cougar than this instructional video is for you. It will teach all the locations, pick up lines and strategies you need to bag a first class cougar.

NOTE: If you are at work you might want to cover your screen at the 2:02 mark and leave it covered until about the 2:05 mark. Unless of course your boss is cool with you checking out a diagram/map of a vagina.

Yeah, Yeah I know I did a Mexican beer last week but we had a little fajita party last week and I am trying to clean out the fridge. That being said this is the third time this summer I have had Dos Equis XX Lager Especial and it is quickly becoming my favorite Mexican beer. It’s the only beer that I have tried that comes in a green bottle and doesn’t taste skunky. If you wonder what I mean by that last sentence try a Heineken, a Rolling Rock or a Grolsch. They all taste skunky.

Dos Equis XX Lager Especial is brewed by the Cervecería Cuauhtémoc Moctezuma brewery in Mexico which has been in business since 1897 and exporting to the U.S. since 1973. Dos Equis XX Lager Especial is a pale lager that pours smooth with almost no head and has a color just slightly darker than a Budweiser. It’s got a smooth clean taste that just goes down easy. There is no reason for a lime so just set it down. Buy some Corona or Miller Chill if you’ve got a real itch for lime in your beer. I could easily burn through a twelve pack of these things without any problem other than the fact that I would be piss drunk from the 4.45% alcohol by volume.

I would definitely say that Dos Equis XX Lager Especial is my new go-to beer for all Mexican dinners. That’s a big endorsement and I was a little borderline until I saw these “most interesting man in the world” commercials with their tag line of “Stay thirsty my friends.”

Dos Equis Product Page

There is just something inherently funny about a white guy rapping about his inability to find a date via social networking and/or internet dating sites.

Today in the links college football season is almost here which means it’s time for cheerleaders, the 5 tailgate essentials, Pam Anderson is looking haggard and chuggin’ in the Wrigley bleachers.

• Exercise Garbage Ball (Video)
• Piracy is not, in fact, theft (Diagram)
• College Football ‘O8: Say Hello To New Season, ‘Cocks Cheerleader Katey Kelly In Bikini (Pics)
• I have better things to do on the toliet (Article)
• Some of the Worst Dudes who pose With Adult Film Stars (Pics)
• Senator Clinton Gives The One Finger Salute (Pic)
• To be a man in Oklahoma (Sports)
• Pamela Anderson Looking Old And Haggard (Pics)
• MW: The Dream Is Dead (Article)
• Chuggin in the Wrigley Bleachers (Video)

[Read more →]

It’s always great to crack open the Tasty Booze mailbox and find stories of debauchery sent in by readers. After reading this one I was surprised to see that in came in at 12:40 a.m. After the night this poor bastard had I would’ve figured he would be using one hand to run YouPorn and one hand to run something else.

Subject Line: a slice of hell

gentlemen, tonight i experienced a small bit of hell. i brought a young woman back to my apartment from a local drinking establishment in the hopes of imbibing a certain pungent herb with her as well as enjoying the obligatory fornication thereafter. so we go up to the roof (mind you, we had already made out several times in the evening and drinking wine, alone, with a view of the middle of downtown over looking the river/skyline, therefore i should definitely at least score some fellatio out of this, right?) i help her drunken ass get there while carrying a doobie, a cigarette and a lighter. when we get up there, we lie down in a chaise lounge with her in my lap. we light the doob-dob-dobber and commence imbibing, but after a few hits for each of us the j loses its cherry because drunky mcwhoreinstein has fallen asleep on my lap. and in doing so, has dropped the lighter under the chair. so here i am, with half a perfectly good doob in one hand, a cigarette in the other, complete with a drunken hot chick’s face in my crotch, but the lighter’s on the ground and the bitch is asleep. for what seemed like a lifetime i tried to either wake the bitch or contort my body enough to reach the lighter. but she is way too drunk to move and i am far too fat to reach the fucking thing. i still am not sure how long it was before i almost fell out of the chair trying to reach the lighter and thus woke her up, whereupon she immediately requested to go to my bed, where she is now sleeping fully clothed and with apparently no intentions of obliging me with some fornication (trust me, I seriously tried). anyway, i may not be winning, but gd damnit, i’m leaving everything out on the field.

-don drunko fattarini from new orleans, la

I always had a hunch that there was a correlation between beers drank and length of sex, but now I know for sure. Miss April 2005 Courtney Culkin gives us the lowdown on the study in this video.

Today’s theme: misery. It’s always fun to think about choosing between one awesome thing and another, but a contest of misery probably evokes the truer answer. So here goes. Don’t forget to vote and leave and clarifying questions in the comments.

“Would you rather have Nickelback on anytime you are in your car or have to wear a sweater vest to work every single day?”

Mitch Martin: “Can I turn the car stereo down and just choose silence?”
J Diggles: “No.”

Baba Ganoush: “What if I am something non-sweater vest friendly like a semi-pro football player or lifeguard?”
J Diggles: “If you are getting paid, you are wearing it.”

Mr Wonka: “No big deal, I love Nickelback.”
J Diggles: “Fine. If you actually enjoy Nickelback, you have to listen to those three Hansen brothers.”

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If you like to catch a buzz and you like to do it playing cards then a set of King’s Cup cards from DrinkingDecks.com is your ticket. I am going to assume that everyone reading is familiar with the drinking game Kings, if not you can check out the rules here, but if you aren’t familiar what the fuck have you been doing?

The main problem with Kings is that everyone has their own set of rules. There is the “this is how we played in college” rules, the “this is how my buddies back home play” rules and the “we’re already so fucked up we can’t remember all the rules” rules. DrinkingDecks.com makes things easy by printing the rules right on face of the cards. This prevents the half drunk assholes that are gathered around the table for the game from arguing over which card is category and which card is rhyme time.

I busted out the DrinkingDecks.com King’s Cup cards at a party last weekend and it was probably the most fun I have ever had playing Kings. It was fun because 30 seconds after we decided to play we were actually playing. There wasn’t 10 minutes of drunks each trying to yell louder than the other making up rules. I’m also pretty sure the game was responsible for sending me time traveling (blacked out).

If Kings is in your regular drinking game rotation the $9.99 price tag is definitely worth it and if Kings isn’t in your regular rotation you need to remove your head from your ass and get it into the mix.

Product Page

It’s like Legends of the Fall all over again. Everyone knows that sailing the high seas back in the day wasn’t all swashbuckling and wenches but I think we can all agree this is a little extreme. I don’t exactly know what the PR department at the Portsmouth Dockyard was thinking but this picture looks like that grizzled old captain is bending this young deck hand over a cannon.

The Register

With the fall season arriving comes new seasons of your favorite TV shows, including the girls of Lost and Heroes…..and I just can’t wait.

The Babes of the 2008 US Open (Sports)
Authorities find pot-growing operation in Miami mall (Drugs)
The 10 Greatest Referee Attacks In Sports History (Sports)
Our hero Ali Larter is back (Pics)
Bull jumping is gotta be a bad idea (Video)
Excercise ball baseball (Video)
Eva Longoria and her old photo shoot (Pics)