For those of you sleeping one off on Sunday morning, you probably went to bed thinking your fantasy team was all squared away, unfortunately Carson Palmer decided to finger-bang himself out of the starting line-up. Maybe you caught this last-minute injury update and made the necessary changes, if not, you got fucked.
None of that really matters. What does? The Denver Broncos losing to the worst team in the NFL, get fucked Broncos! Jay Cutler look horrendous all around and the Kansas City Chiefs looked like somewhat of a decent football team. Hopefully the downward spiral will continue, on to the waiver wire scramble for this week:
Pick-up Steve Breaston, WR, Arizona - Breaston put up more than 300 yards between kick returns and receiving yards last week for the Cardinals. Now with Anquan Boldin out for at least a couple weeks, Breaston moves up the depth chart and into the pass-happy offense. Arizona’s defense is still suspect, so expect them to be coming from behind and throwing for much of the game. Plus Edgerrin James sucks like a Hoover.
Hold on Deuce McAllister, RB, New Orleans - It’s a great story to have Deuce back on the field in the Dirty Dirty, but there are plenty of weapons on the Saints offense. He’ll likely split carries and snaps with Reggie Bush, but if your in need other another reserve RB to get you through some bye weeks, McAllister might be worth a pick-up.
Drop Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Pittsburgh - Fat boy Ben is all kinds of messed up and Byron Leftwich is waiting in the wings. The Steelers offense is pathetic, now that people have figured out that you just blitz the shit out of the QB and hope for the best. Something needs to change in Pittsburgh soon, and Ben should be the first thing to go.
Fuck Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis - Really? After being on my fantasy team all of last year and essentially pleasuring yourself week in and week out, you happen to dominate both of my fantasy teams this week! Waste of space! Watch how much you suck the rest of the year. FUCK! At least you didn’t have your best game of the year against the Seahawks…
Burn Old Uniforms, New York Jets - There should be a rule about only being allowed to wear “throw-back” uniforms that don’t look polyster vomit. If your TV’s color is even slightly off, you probably though the Arizona Cardinals were playing the Rams on Sunday. As is, the Jets have some pretty tight looking retro uniforms with the classic green and white, why would you want to ruin a good thing? I blame Brett Farve.
