Some of the lovely Sarah Palin’s highlights include:
- Knowing a lot about foriegn policy because she lives so close to Russia
- Being the Mayor of a town of 6,300 six short years ago
- Proud student of North Idaho College and the University of Idaho
- 2nd runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska beauty pageant
- Supports the “Barbarians For Palin”
- Believes that God’s will and prayer will lead to the development of a natural gas pipeline
But the real gem she brings to the presidential race is her children. Yes, her 17 year-old daughter is pregnant, but that is just a bonus. Her kids simply have awesome names. All 5 of them. They are Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Maybe they are like those opposite names like Biggie Smalls. Track is probably actually fat and slow and Trig is really bad at math. And thank god for Willow that the movie about the crazy dwarf was long enough ago that most people have forgotten it. Anyway, if you want to know what your name would be if birthed by Palin, check it out here.






















{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate to burst your bubble but I bet Trig has nothing to do with math.
I would bet cold hard cash money that Trig is short for trigger.
Everyone knows Sarah Palin loves being a hockey mom and shooting shit.
Baba Ganoush= Timber Challenger Palin.
Works for me.
Mitch Martin = Mullet Troll Palin
WTF!?
I call shenanigans!
Mitch, that is quite appropriate for you