Embarrassing: Having your boyfriend get his ass kicked by a squirrel in a public park.
More Embarrassing: Your boyfriend is a former Army Sergeant badass who received a Purple Heart.
Most Embarrassing: It was your boyfriends shitty attempt at a squirrel call to impress you that provoked the attack.
It wasn’t that furry bastard in the corner but one of his fox squirrel buddies that laid a beat down on Frank Garren. Frank was in the park with his girlfriend when he spotted what he guessed to be a 2 - 3 pound squirrel in the tree. Looking to impress his lady he attempted a squirrel call (What the fuck does a squirrel call sound like?) which enraged the fat furry bastard. The squirrel came out of the tree and latched onto Frank’s head and face scratching him up before running off.
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I hope the squirrel was rabies free. What a hassle that would be. And so many of them are almost tame.