A couple of weekends ago I was minding my own business, enjoying a couple happy hour beers when I look up and see bare ass. Well, not all bare, it was mostly covered with a shiny saran-wrap material, which was protecting a new ass tattoo (ass-tat). The guy felt the need to showoff his new ink to his friend and brother on the sidewalk patio, in front of numerous on-lookers. Now, before we go any further, I am not necessarily opposed to so-called “ass tats,” as long as they are on the right ass – a female ass, and preferably a fine one at that.

However, a tattoo of the SpongeBob SquarePants character Patrick Star… The newly branded ass belonged to a young man who claimed that he was dared by his mom to get an ass-tat. To give you some additional family background, he and all his siblings have names starting with the same letter (i.e. John, Jack, James, Jessica, etc.). And to make matters worse, he planned to hold his mom to her word and collect the money that it cost him to get the tattoo; of course he also dedicated the tat to his youngest brother by choosing his favorite cartoon character to have permanently plastered onto his ass.

Seriously, if you’re going to get an ass-tat to win a bet, could you have thought of a cooler cartoon character? Why settle for Patrick, the pink sea star sidekick, when the obvious play here is to get SpongeBob himself, who doesn’t love SpongeBob? Maybe the pink overweight douchebag is a precursor to what the future holds for this guy, so now his future girlfriends/wife know what the future holds.