Welcome to the University of Masturbation Michigan. Please notice this lovely sign on the wall here of your dormitory. Please abide by the Honor Code and masturbate in your room.
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When Awkward Happens: Masturbation
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Here is a little tip for the University of Michigan, free of charge.
If want to curb masturbation in the shower either remove the doors/curtains or make them group showers.
We never had problems with too many dudes rubbing one out in the showers at the fraternity.
What kind of semen damages pipes?