It’s been quite the 2000’s for Boston sports fans. Most recently the Patriots went undefeated, the Celtics won the NBA championship, and now Dustin Pedrioa wins the AL MVP award in just his second season. The rich get richer. And worse yet, my Boston friends cried like little babies when the Pats got smoked by David Tyree and Tampa Bay won the AL East. Congrats to Pedroia, he is good, and the first AL second baseman to win the award in 50 years. But to the fans, think about my misery for a second before you cry in my face.
1. Seattle Mariners: Play in the worst division in all of baseball, haven’t won it since 2001. And yes, finished last and 39 games out in 2008. A special thanks goes out to all the experts who predicted the M’s to win it.
2. Seattle Seahawks: Yes, the Hawks were predicted universally to win the NFC West this year. In fact, we are in last place with a lovely 2-8 record. Way to shut down a career Holmgren!
3. Seattle Sonics: Decided to leave town after last season for Oklahoma City thanks to our idiot Starbuck’s billionaire who sold them to the same OKC businessmen who tried to jack the Hornets from a hurting New Orleans. Thanks at least for acting shocked when they stole the Sonics too. The only way this could get worse is if the Thun….(ugh, vomit in the mouth)…Thunder were actually good this season. Fortunately, no worries there. Go Blazers!!!
4. UW Huskies Football: They are literally the worst team in college football. Oh wait, no they aren’t, they are ranked second worst in all of division 1A. Thanks Washington State Cougars for saving me there and being ranked last.
5. UW Huskies Basketball: Our one saving grace! They are going to take the league by storm this year. Shit, their starting point guard is named Isiah Thomas after all. Wait, what’s that you say? They already started the season and lost their first game embarrisingly to the University of Portland? Wasn’t this a warm-up game? University of Portland has a team???? Nice.
I’m moving.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
luckily, TastyBooze still dominates Co-rec soccer, bowling, flag football, softball, and hopefully dodgeball.
we should start a pro sports team!