Thank Christ the liquor was talking because this has got to be the funniest back and forth I’ve ever read between cops and a guy about to be arrested for DUI. Jeff Henderson was trying to get to McDonald’s for some late night munchies but he never quite made it out of the driveway. A neighbor noticed Jeff passed out behind the wheel of his running car with what appeared to be smoke coming from the hood. The neighbor called 911 before heading out to try to wake Jeff up. Once the cops arrived let’s just say hilarity ensued.
When they asked Henderson what happened, he allegedly said, “My (expletive) car almost blew up, man. I could have (expletive) died.” Deputies asked where Henderson was going, and he reportedly said, “I got the serious munchies, and I was driving to Micky D’s for a little snack.”
When they asked if he was alone in the car, he allegedly said, “No, I had a group of midgets with me who ran away when you got here. Yeah, I was (expletive) alone, dude. Do you see anyone else?” Deputies asked if he had been drinking alcohol, and he allegedly said, “Uh, hello, yeah, I was (expletive) drinking. I almost died, dude, and you ask me that (expletive)? … I wasn’t driving, if that’s what you’re getting at, dude. Nice try, good police work.”
He allegedly failed several field sobriety tests but refused to take an alcohol field sensor test, saying, “Dude, I don’t blow into long tube-shaped things. You have at it if you like blowing.”
Original Story: Niagara Gazette
