I’ve never owned my own business or been in business for myself but I’m pretty sure that shitting on people’s porches isn’t exactly the best way to find new customers/clients.
The victim told investigators the doorbell to her home in the 700 block of Beach Court rang, and she saw a red Jeep Cherokee blocking the driveway. However, she didn’t recognize the vehicle, so she didn’t answer the door.
A friend stopped by shortly afterward and told her a "human bowel movement" sat on the porch, describing the odor as "repugnant." Toilet paper also was on the porch "where the suspect attempted to clean themselves."
The victim told police a neighbor indicated a heavy-set woman drove off in the red Jeep and that she was selling Mary Kay products.
What the fuck? Not to be redundant but “Toilet paper also was on the porch "where the suspect attempted to clean themselves." If this lady had toilet paper with her then this was definitely not an emergency porch shitting. But at the same time if the homeowner doesn’t recognize the car how could it be a premeditated porch shitting? Does she just shit on the porch of every person that doesn’t answer the door when she shows up to slang cosmetics? I’m guessing the Mary Kay lady was drunk and she ended up shitting on the porch of the wrong house.
Is anyone surprised this happened in Florida?
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