Patton Oswalt loves himself a little Jason Statham and frankly I can’t disagree with the guy. After catching Crank Patton decided he liked Jason so much he went ahead and reworked the story lines of most of the movies that were up for Academy Awards this year. Honestly I think Statham makes just about every one of the movies better.
DOUBT: Jason Statham drop-kicks the Pope through the core of the Earth, and the Pope’s head goes up Meryl Streep’s ass and then Motorhead’s “The Ace of Spades” plays.
FROST/NIXON: Jason Statham pulls off David Frost’s skin, drops him into a tank of sea salt, and then Statham and Nixon rent a limo and drive across country, shotgunning hippies.
DEFIANCE: Jason Statham throws Hitler into a woodchipper, eats the entrails as they fly out the other end, and then shits out Winston Churchill.
Patton’s full “GAY-THAM FOR STATHAM” post
