God, the Floridians have been on fire lately. This is my fourth “Floridians Are Crazy” story in the last week.
I think Ms. Amacenda-Velona, pictured to the right, was actually going for a two-fer. I think she was attempting to add a “Mother of the Year” title to the “Floridians Are Crazy” status that she had already locked down.
Deputies pulled Ms. Amacenda-Velona over for having a headlight out but when they got to the car they found that Amacenda-Velona had a bottle of Cuervo next to her and limes in the console. What is this amateur hour? Everyone knows that if you’re going to drink tequila in the car you spring for something decent that doesn’t require limes. Citrus juice does nothing but create a sticky mess that is a bitch to clean up later. Plus, have you tried cutting limes on your dashboard while driving? Take my word, it’s a real motherfucker.
The deputies also couldn’t help but notice that Amacenda-Velona had two children in the back seat of the car with her. The kids were wearing seat belts which is good but that just means they were safely buckled in while they watched Mom fail a field sobriety test and blow a .233 on the breathalyzer machine.
via tampabay.com
