Tomorrow is turkey day which means the lethal combination of food, family and the Detroit Lions. It’s a combination that should only be faced under the heavy influence of alcohol. To assist you in catching that heavy buzz we’ve come up with a drinking game because everything is more fun when it’s turned into a drinking game, it’s true, it’s science.
So grab a case of your favorite beer or a bottle of your favorite hard booze and print out enough copies of the rules to go around. Happy Thanksgiving.
1. Take one drink for every person you ran into last night that you hadn’t seen since high school. Two drinks if you couldn’t remember their name.
2. Take one drink every time someone asks “When are we going to eat?”
3. Take one drink per 5 minutes of waiting time between the initially stated dinner time and actual dinner time.
4. Finish your drink for the first f-bomb dropped during dinner. Finish two if you dropped the f-bomb.
4b. Take one drink for each f-bomb after the first. Take two drinks if you dropped the f-bomb.
5. Take one drink for each type of pie made.
6. Finish your drink every time the football team you support wins.
7. Finish two drinks every time a football team you support loses.
8. Take one drink for every bruise/cut/broken bone received as a result of Thanksgiving Day Turkey Bowl football game amongst “friends.”
9. Drink for every second of awkward silence during dinner conversations about healthcare, how to fix the economy, illegal immigration, abortion, etc. Finish your drink if you caused the awkward silence.
10. Take one drink for every time to have to explain your relationship status to older family members.
11. Take one drink for every 5 minutes of time you spend ditching the family activities to watch football. Take an extra drink if you have to pretend to be a Detroit Lions fan to do so.
12. Take one drink every time you have to explain to someone what your job is or what you are studying.
