Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”
The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth friend returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?”
One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. …What about your son?” The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
The three friends said: “What a shame…what a disappointment.” The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.”
Is there something hanging out of her nose? Maybe an accidental nip slip? No, just someone hanging some brain in the background. Non-blurred version after the jump.
You gotta love when the big boys at MSNBC slip an F-bomb into the news about the current state of the economy & the AIG bailout. It’s not quite the same degree as the Blurt Blyleven blow-up, but it’s pretty rare that one of these guys slips up like ol’ Joe.
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” asks the boy.
“Yes,” said the father, “you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mom, how many kinds of willies are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but still reliable. After his fifties, it is like an old Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes, dead from the roots up and the balls are for decoration only.”
This is a pretty rough, but hilarious, way to wake up. You have to watch over half way before you see any action, but it’s good. It sounded like a real machine gun to me, but he didn’t seem too concerned. It’s obviously going to happen again.
I love the fact that she was filming herself doing this. And where did she think she was going? She doesn’t seem the type to do a jump-singing move off the table, and she was definitely toeing the edge. I wish the video would have run long enough for us to watch her try to get up.
I remember when I learned how to ride a bike. I hopped on and my dad pushed me down a huge grass hill. I was kinda pissed at the time, but now that I’ve seen this lesson, I’m glad my dad’s a smart guy.
Man, this guy is going to get an ear full from the bride’s parents. The best part is, they didn’t even finish the ceremony yet. Imagine how pissed that bride is going to be standing up on the altar to put on those rings. The best man shouldn’t have had that last shot…
I am having a birthday party on October 17th 2008. it is my 25th Birthday and i am looking for a few clowns to roam around my party and make people feel uncomfortable. I have a lot of weird friends and a lot of straight laced friends so some will be easier to “drive nuts” than others. The age range of people their will be from 18-40 years old. the general idea hear is to creep all of my friends out and have most of them ask “why is this clown following me around?” This is what i want for my birthday and it is not a joke.
DESCRIPTION OF CLOWN DUTIES AT THE PARTY:
-make people feel uncomfortable.
-follow guests around.
-come dressed in full clown costume with face painted in a SAD FACE style.
-must act the part of a depressed lonely clown.
-wander around the party and create awkward situations with guests.
-make balloon animals and give them to people especially if they dont want them. (YOU DONT HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE REAL BALLOON ANIMALS JUST OFF HE TOP OF YOUR HEAD.)this maybe optional, we will talk about it if hired.
-do not speak to anyone unless you feel it will enhance the creepiness of the clown situation.
-and ect. improvisation. if you have ideas to make this weirder than it already is for people at the party let me know.
TIME:
Clowns hired are to show up at the location at 7pm and remain at the party until ATLEAST midnight, you can stay longer if you would like.
PAY:
$80 for each clown. plus free food and free alcohol (drinking on the job is recommended)
ALSO:
if you are not a clown but rather a magician or other type of strange charactered individual respond to this post because their maybe a position for you aswell at the same pay rate.
THANKS FOR READING PLEASE RESPOND BEFORE OCTOBER 10th
Alright, I gotta be honest. If I had a clown costume and lived near Tustin, CA, I’d definitely be up for this gig. I could easily drink over $80 in alcohol in 5 hours, and the free food is just icing on the cake. Kizza, I’m going to be disappointed if you don’t try to land this job. Thanks for the email.
I love the dad filming here. He’s so insensitive because it’s not his kid, it’s hilairous. That kid had to be in some pain though. Those skee balls are pretty hard and heavy.
This little guy sure has some moves. It took me a while to believe that wasn’t a man on his knees with some weird jeans on, but sure enough, it’s just a little person. Rock on, dude.
These skiers have to have pretty big balls to go bombing downhill at 70 mph. Unfortunately for this big ball skier, his big nuts took on a gate on a downhill course and definitely lost. I love the scream when the pain registers.
When you all go to the grocery store tonight after work to pick up stuff for tomorrow’s lunch, make sure you grab some Cock Soup and Jussi Pussi rolls. That’s a tasty treat that will make a big impact at the office.
I’d already seen the end result of this video, but it was nice to see how the trap was laid. Genius. Look out roommate, you’ve got a little booby trap coming your way.
