Friday time baby. Let’s focus on doing as little work as possible and surfing the internet for at least 4 hours today. What better place to start than cigarette cleavage, trampoline accidents, the Entourage girl, and a new Top Model??
Recently leaked video of Bill O’Reilly (current super conservative host of The O’Reilly Factor) freaking out on his old Inside Edition job. It is pure gold, especially if you have seen his show ever. I mean, wow.
“We will do it LIVE….F$%K IT”
And fortunately our friends at Double Viking have posted Stephen Colbert’s response to the Papa Bear O’Reilly’s Freakout….
Those of you 25 and over, you probably remember Beavis and Butthead pretty well. We were raised on them whether we liked it or not. Well, a potential live action movie is in the works and Weak Game has the scoop. I can only imagine the ridiculous casting sessions. Oh and Leo DiCap is my hero….
What the hell is wrong with this airline? Aren’t they the ones who last year stranded passengers for over a week with delayed flights and made folks sit on planes with no food for 8+ hours on the tarmac waiting for the plane to thaw (which it never did). You would have thought that after that nightmare they would have trained their employees properly. But no.
Sit on the toilet? I mean that doesn’t sound half bad, it’s like your own little office in there. But come one, the pilot must have known that this was completely against federal safety regulations. What a bunch of morons.
Other highlights:
- The flight attendant was originally sitting in one of the standard flight attendant “jump seats”, but complained it was too uncomfortable for her and got the pilot to move the passenger. Really? This sounds like a man who is seriously whipped And by whipped, I mean he is totally thinking that if he does this he is going to get some flight attendent ass, which of course he isn’t.
- When the passenger said he didn’t want to go sit in the bathroom (totally reasonable I would say), the pilot told him that “he was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that the man should be grateful for being on board”.
Let’s see Jet Blue. Your stock was $16.57 before the original incident last January and has now plummeted to $4.77. Well done! Not going to lie though, those damned TV’s in every seat will bring me right back to you. Like crack.
Maybe you have never tried the Flickr game where you combine two random words/phrases into one search. Fortunately, Double Viking has. And you get to reap the benefits. Oh and don’t forget that Wikipedia can double as a safe porn site when on business trips with the old company laptop.
In honor of all the mother’s out there (and hopefully they don’t know this site exists), let’s give a shout to 41-year-old Michelle Duggar who is expecting her 18th child in a few months. Yes, 18th. The woman has been pregnant for 11 years of her life, with children ranging from 9 months to 20 years. Holy shit. Either 1) her husband has super sperm, 2) they really really love sex or 3) there are a lot of milkmen in the area. After 11 years of pregnancy I just want to know what is holding those chitlens up there. Actually, scratch that, I do not want to know.
That all being said, the best parts of the story are:
- Please take a guess at the husbands name. Please. Think Arkansas, religious, toothless maybe. Ok, now, what percent of you guessed Jim Bob? 50%? 75% maybe? Love it.
- And it’s just like good old Jim Bob to pass his name legacy along. That’s right, all his kids names start with ‘J’. Some classics include Josiah, Joy-Anna, and Jedidiah. But the best is of course Jinger. You may think that’s a Spice Girl, but throw a ‘J’ in there and it’s a whole new name son…
It’s link time. And we’ve got some goodies for you today. Gemma Atkinson is still hot, Kim Kardashian still has a big ass, and Suge Knight is still finally getting knocked out. Here are Tuesday’s manliest links on the web.
Our favorite girls at the annual Costume Institute gala at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art last week. By the way, remember a few years ago, when everybody could not wait for these girls to grow up and be bombshells? Me neither…
Eva Mendes has finally taken the plunge and gone the topless route. May not be a classy move, but sure is an awesome one. I expect this to re-jumpstart her career into another sting of classics like Stuck On You. Good work, Eva. And don’t forget to check out the latest in bacon products and tips for seducing that cougar you have always wanted.
“Dozens of San Diego State University students were arrested after a sweeping drug investigation found that some fraternity members openly dealt drugs. Two kilograms of cocaine were seized, along with 350 Ecstasy pills, marijuana, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, methamphetamine, illicit prescription drugs, several guns and at least $60,000 in cash.” Nice work kids. Stay in school!
This guy! Thats right readers, if you remember last week I made some bold 1st round NBA playoff predictions in my It’s Time for Obvious Playoff Predictions post. I predicted the 8 winners to be Boston, Detroit, Cleveland, Orlando, LA, New Orleans, San Antonio and Utah - all of whom won.The only real nail biter was Boston over Atlanta, primarily because Ray Allen is shooting 2 for 78 in the playoffs to date (way to represent Seattle). But right is right. So if any gambling websites allow you to bet on a series after it is approximately halfway through, let me be your guide to wealth. Here are Round 2’s Obvious Playoff Predictions:
Boston vs Cleveland: Boston stopped Joe Johnson in their first round series and made the other guys score. Unfortunately for Boston, Joe Johnson is about a third of the man LeBron James is. Unfortunately for The LeBrons, the King himself was horrific from the field shooting 2 for 18 in game 1. Unfortunately for Boston, despite LeBrons misery the Celts still only won by FOUR. These teams make me want to vomit. If this keeps up the West is going to sweep whatever pathetic excuse for a team the East sends to the finals. I hated watching this game. And I hate writing about it even more. Boston moves on.
Detroit vs Orlando: More boring East teams. God I hate the east. Blah. Detroit moves on because I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
San Antonio vs New Orleans: I love Chris Paul. My ACC brother. What’s up SON! And Julian Wright is my new favorite rookie. Can you imagine a Kansas squad with him still on it? I don’t know who those other guys on their team are, but I don’t think it matters. San Antonio looks crazy slow and my 1st and 2nd least favorite ball players (Bruce Bowen because he’s a bitch-ass and Manu Ginobli because he is so ugly and has that bald spot) are on the team, so we know they ain’t gonna win. New Orleans moves on.
Utah vs LA Lakers: I think Utah is just joking with us that they are even playing in this series. I don’t particularly like the LA personalities, but Utah just sucks. If Karl Malone and John Stockton couldn’t get it done, their is no way Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are going to. Boozer is from Alaska for shits sake and he went to college at the albatross of atrocious professional basketball players known as Duke (their best two ever, Grant Hill and Elton Brand both needed crutches to make it past their 6th NBA season). LA moves on.
Barack Obama made his presence felt last night, winning North Carolina handily and nearly pulling out the upset in Indiana. I expect Hillary to stay in the race a few more weeks and play this thing out until June 3rd (i mean, she was basically eliminated 6 weeks ago, so why stop now), but I finally feel the end. Oh ya, and besides that, we’ve got naked British chicks, Elsiha Cuthbert, and some random cleavage…no big deal.
That’s right folks, get excited for ANOTHER election day! Just like all the others, today’s is the most important of them all. That’s right, the national powerhouses known as Indiana and North Carolina are holding their primaries - 187 delegates are at stake. You may have thought that America’s biggest fan Reverend Wright would have done in Obama by now, or you might have assumed the mathematical impossibility of Hillary winning would have sent her packing. But no, we get more! At least it gives Stewart and Colbert plenty of material. Let’s review the possible outcomes:
Hillary Wins Them Both: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
Barack Wins Them Both: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
Barack and Hillary Each Win One: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
Did you ever notice that the day after drinking holidays, we at Tasty Booze are a bit slow to post in the mornings? Perhaps the Mantastic Links are a few hours late, or posts are few and far between until about noon. I can’t quite figure it out, but it may be something we need to look in to.
A teacher in Florida (yes, I guess they are still crazy) is arguing that she was wrongly fired by the St. Lucie County School District because of an inappropriate “afterschool” job. It wasn’t just any job though, she was hired as a Bikini-wearing hot chick that walks around the boat on charter fishing expeditions. According to the Company’s website: “Can you think of two things that go together better then beautiful women and fishing?”
I can think of a few things, but do admit that it sounds pretty awesome. Anyway, back to the point. Clearly this probably isn’t the best thing to do for those teaching our youth (Biology of all subjects). But nonetheless, I ask again, where were all these teachers when I was a kid? I swear to god, if you didn’t have glasses and one of those real tight perms, you weren’t a female teacher in my school district. Now there are all these ex scandals and buxom blond bikini teachers running around. I need to pull an Adam Sandler and get back in the classroom.
More ridiculousness from the story:
1) The teachers defense of her bikini girl status was: “You don’t wear jeans or slacks to go fishing”
2) The charter boat Company was called “Smokin’ Em Charters” and was recently kicked out of the marina for violating the city’s family-friendly atmosphere
3) School officials say she was canned for missing more than 30 days of school this year, with two written reprimands for the absences - and didn’t even know about her second job until she complained
Friday time baby. Let’s focus on doing as little work as possible and surfing the internet for at least 4 hours today. What better place to start than cigarette cleavage, trampoline accidents, the Entourage girl, and a new Top Model??
Maybe you have never tried the Flickr game where you combine two random words/phrases into one search. Fortunately, Double Viking has. And you get to reap the benefits. Oh and don’t forget that Wikipedia can double as a safe porn site when on business trips with the old company laptop.
