It’s been almost 20 years since Back to the Future II hit theaters and gave every kid under the age of 18 a boner with the thoughts of a real working hoverboard. Shit, I might be 28 years old but if Mattel dropped a hoverboard tomorrow I would definitely buy one. Seeing as how no toy company has figured out how to make a hoverboard we will have to settle for the movie prop version. The auction states that during the course of filming both styrofoam and wooden hoverboards were used. Apparently the styrofoam boards have deteriorated over time but this wooden board was used in filming and it’s in almost perfect condition.
How much is a non-working but almost perfect hoverboard going to set you back? According to the Ebay auction you are looking at somewhere between $30K - $50K. Sure they strapped this thing to Michael J. Fox’s feet and drug him around with a crane but that is a shit ton of money for a wooden board painted neon pink.
This morning I boarded a train to Portland for my annual pilgrimage to the Oregon Brewer’s Festival. The last weekend of July has become a sacred holiday for a group of college friends and myself - I’ve requested weddings, BBQs and birthday parties to be scheduled around this holiday.
The weekend usually includes drunken debauchery, barbecuing, whiffle ball, drunken jackassery, crashing a random house party, hanging out in the Pearl, and, of course, drinking beer. The Oregon Brewer’s Festival, or as we call it, “Brewfest,” also takes place during Oregon Craft Beer Month this year…like I give a fuck. Brewfest is wall-to-wall people during prime-time drinking hours and the weather is usually hot as balls, turning the river waterfront of Portland into an open-air dive bar.
This year Brewfest is touting the connection of its 21st anniversary with the 21st Amendment. Nerds. Read their whole press release here. Also, there will be 72 craft beers, representing 18 states. I’ll have a full report next week. If you’ll be at the Brewfest, look for me, I’ll be the one drinking drunk.
I had no idea but apparently some dude from America’s Hat (Canada) holds the world record for getting kicked in the nuts by a female. Apparently that didn’t sit well with Scottie K, a true patriot, and he decided to take it upon himself to bring the record back home to the great U.S. of A where is belongs. The first few ladies are a little shy but then Scottie finds a whole gaggle of ladies that are more than happy to give his ball sack a good kick.
What has two thumbs and got to see The Dark Knight at 6:30 p.m. last night in the IMAX theater? This guy! About a month ago I posted a movie review where the reviewer started off with “I want to fuck this movie”. That is a little intense for me but I would definitely do some weird shit with The Dark Knight.
To see it on the IMAX screen was pants shitting awesome. We got into the theater about two minutes before the show started which means we ended up with third row seats. Not close enough to hurt your neck but close enough that I almost had to turn my head to see both edges of the IMAX screen.
The movie was just non-stop action. Sure there was some dialog and there is a great overall story about the struggle between heros and anti-heros but with the Joker constantly fucking shit up around Gotham things were always on the move. I know some people are already counting Heath Ledger’s Oscar votes and others are scoffing at those counters but the guy pulled off an amazing performance. He was genuinely scary as the Joker.
As with all Batman movies there were a lot of bat-gadgets, some believable and some not so believable. I don’t want to give any of the movie away but by far my favorite bat-gadget was the Sky Hook. Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it.
So is this movie going to win any awards, Ledger aside? Probably not but action movies like this generally don’t. If you loved the Michael Keaton Batman from 1989 and Batman Begins and would just as soon pretend all the ones in between never happened then you are going to love this movie.
I don’t know if the folks over at the Guinness Book Of World Records have a category for most DUIs in a given time frame but if they do I think Robert Hood (not related to Robin) might have just set the record. I have posted several stories here on Tasty Booze in the past about people pulling off the incredible two DUIs in 24 hours which is an accomplishment no doubt but Mr. Hood has decided to take the bar up a notch by locking down a solid four DUIs in the last two weeks. Some people can’t ring up four in a lifetime but Robert here has knocked it down in just two weeks.
If you are concerned that Robert might be stuck in jail upsetting his world record pace you can put your mind at ease. The judge in the case set Robert’s bail at just $2000 so Robert has already posted his 10% and was back on the street on Tuesday.
Do you think you flip cup like a champion? Then you might want want to warm up your credit card and start practicing your flips because the biggest tournament in the world is going down in NYC on October 11th.
The tournament, organized by Flip Cup Guys.com, will feature 64 teams with six flippers per team. Two teams will compete in a best of 7 series to determine the winner who will move on to the next round of the tournament. There is a $30 registration fee per player so you are looking at $180 for the team plus travel, accommodations and of course training costs.
With 384 players plus spectators this is going to be big time. If you get nervous flipping cup at a house party you might as well stay home because you’ll shit a brick with 400 plus people watching your flips.
I am thinking we Tasty Boozers need to host a little fundraiser and send a team to this thing. We’ve got some pretty mean flippers in our friend group. We also have some pretty mean gamblers and we have started having one on one flip cup matches with the spectators betting money on the match. We have about 2 months to pull the funds together before the big throwdown. At the very least I think we need to find a team that can make the tournament and work out a little Tasty Booze sponsorship.
Hit the link for rules, registration and more info.
A construction worker in Australia has been court ordered to not hold or drink a beer for the next 12 months. This stiff penalty was handed down after Michael Leary was convicted of his 7th DUI and his lawyer told the court he had a $981 a week beer habit. Obviously no beer for this guy over the next year is going to be pretty tough but you would think getting your 7th DUI would carry a little bit of a stronger sentence. The judge however actually made a joke about it in court.
“(That is) poor judgement on two counts there — drinking that much and drinking Melbourne Bitter,” magistrate Vince Luppino was quoted as saying.
How the fuck do you spend almost $1000 a week on beer? This isn’t coke we are talking about. If you assume that a 30 pack of cans costs roughly $30 and the guy drank one 30 pack a day that would still only be $210 over the course of the week. The only way you can get close to $1000 is to assume his was knocking back about 30 $4 pints at the bar which would be $120 a day or $840 over the course of a 7 day week. How did he manage to get any actual work done do actually support this beer habit? The guy is a goddamn construction worker and the last time I checked shit doesn’t just build itself.
What is that hot pink thing on that cow’s back? That is a fart tank, son! Scientists in Argentina have began collecting cow farts in an attempt to understand how they affect global warming. The researchers have found that the methane that comes from cow farts accounts for 30% of Argentina’s green house emissions.
Argentina has roughly 55 million cattle that produce somewhere between 8000 to 10,000 litres of ass gas every day. I wonder how many automobiles that is equivalent too? Scientists are hoping to find a way to alter the diet of the cows which will reduce their flatulance problem.
Check out this picture from a surveillance camera that shows Nelson Gonzalez’s van exploding while he was driving down the street. Nick is a welder who apparently had a van full of “highly flammable” substances. Nick decided to spark up a cig while he was rolling down the boulevard and the gas vapors ignited causing the explosion. Nick somehow survived and cops found him sitting on the curb waiting for them despite the fact that the explosion blew out windows of nearby businesses.
Hit the link for full surveillance video goodness.
Let me set the stage here: Professional Golfer/Drinker John Daly playing in a Pro-AM tournament in Michigan. Pro-AM Partner: Detroit’s own Kid Rock (wearing appropriate golf attire of overalls). Shot: Golf ball teed up on a 24 oz. can of Budweiser. Result: AWESOME! Even more impressive, Daly’s ability to leave the can after the tee shot, but Kid Rock is there to pick up scraps.
You pissed away all your money in Danish bars which means you don’t have any left to pay for a ferry ride home to your nice warm bed that lies across one of the world’s busiest shipping lanes. What do you do?
I forgot to mention that you are also 78 years young. Well like any boozed up asshole looking to get home on the cheap this Swede got creative. He stole a rowboat and began rowing across the 4 kilometer (2.48 miles) wide shipping channel. Like all drunks at the end of a bender the Swede got tired and decided to pass out in the boat hoping that the current would carry him the rest of the way to Sweden. The Danish Coast Guard ended up picking up the boozehound after it received several reports of an empty dinghy floating in the busy shipping lane.
Drunks never cease to amaze me. I have seen some people do some pretty crazy shit but trying to row across 2.5 miles of water regardless of whether or not it’s a shipping lane is pretty crazy. I am not sure I could row that far stone cold sober let alone blitzed. Maybe I should hop on the rowing machine at the gym tonight and see if I can pull it off.
This is how you pick up chicks. I can’t honestly believe there’s someone out there who would do this. I hope Dimitri has got a chance to hear himself on the internet. Maybe he’ll realize he’s earned the dubious honor of Douche Bag of the Week at Tasty Booze.
Neatorama has a great list of the top 10 most ridiculous anti-terroism patents. Some of them, like the Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet, just boggle the mind. What kind of ass clown thinks that adding a built-in toilet to a bio-hazard suit is going to do anyone any good. If you are afraid of chemical or biological weapons chances are you are going to have shit yourself long before you managed to get the suit on.
One of my favorites is U.S. Patent 6844817, Aircraft anti-terrorism security system, by Wolfgang Gleine. Issued Jan 18, 2005.
The only thing this brilliant invention is missing is sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their foreheads. If this trap door opened up and just dropped the would be terrorists out of the bottom of the plane I might be able to get behind it but without that is just becomes a rumpus room for the captain that gets stage fright in the cockpit or a flying drunk tank depending on the flight.
“I have some aches and pains and I have had lower back problems since the 80s. Too much time in bed rustling around with friends!”
Holy shit, I don’t usually tear up but this just breaks my heart. Poor Hugh Hefner, 82, is having back problems because he has spent two much in bed banging hot chicks. This isn’t a new condition either. Apparently Hugh has been suffering this back pain since the ’80s. What the fuck is going on in this country? How could we let this poor man suffer from lower back pain for the better part of 3 decades? Where is the compassion?
I would have added music to this post but I couldn’t find a violin small enough.
Oh yeah, Hugh, you don’t have to sugar coat it. Drop this “rustling” nonsense and just shoot us straight.
